How to Stop Bullying When the School Won’t Help

How do you stop bullying when the school won’t help? Your heart just breaks when your child is being bullied. My son experienced bullying in kindergarten, before we started homeschooling. One child liked to burp in his face and generally annoy him constantly. Another child actually pulled his pants down in the middle of the school yard at recess one day. I was bullied myself back in my elementary school days. I remember having retreated to the washroom to cry during recess one day and my tormentors followed me – they stood on the toilets in adjacent stalls and peered over to taunt at me.

But he and I were lucky. Sometimes bullying can mean daily beatings after school, serious harm, or even death. What if your child has even retaliated, and then been the only one who ended up in the principal’s office? Perhaps the teachers have told your child to avoid the bully – to go down a different hallway or walk home a different way from school.  What do you do if you’ve tried everything to stop bullying and the school just won’t help?


How to Stop Bullying When the School Won’t Help

The Principal

Write just one more letter to the principal, and this time send a copy to the school board as well as the school superintendent so they all know what’s been going on in the school. Hopefully this will lead to a serious sit down meeting with the principal. Make sure a plan of action is put in place, with action steps for the school, the teachers, and a place your child can always retreat to when he’s being bullied.


Meet with other parents and/or teachers. Bring the issue to the next Parent Teacher Association meeting. Brainstorm together for ideas on how the school can help stop bullying. Volunteer to head up a committee dedicated to the issue. You can help real change come about for the whole school.

The Police

Call the police to notify them of an assault. If your child has been beaten, call the police. While some children grow out of bullying, for some this can be the start of a lifetime of bullying and criminal assault. The child may already be known to police and if not, they need to know. Sometimes it’s the only way to stop bullying before it grows out of control.

The Media

It seems almost every day in the news is a story about a child who had been bullied and the parents have notified the media out of frustration. If you feel comfortable putting you and your child under the microscope of the local newspaper, this is a route you can take to stop bullying.

New School or Homeschool

If you’ve tried everything else, or you can no longer endure the bullying your child is going through, perhaps a new school – public school, private school, or homeschooling – is the answer. While we didn’t homeschool due to the bullying our son experienced (I wanted to homeschool anyway), many parents have started because of bullying and it’s been a real blessing for their child. Homeschooling is something you can even do short term, while you wait for the school to take action.

If you decide to keep your child in school while the bullying is ongoing and you’re trying to make things better, make sure he is safe. Ask him to sit with friends at lunch and make sure he had a ride to and from school or a buddy to walk with.

Has your child been bullied at school? How did you get the school to stop bullying? Please share in the comments below to help other parents going through the same thing!

Don’t forget to check our bullying section and share it with your friends. Every bit helps


28 thoughts on “How to Stop Bullying When the School Won’t Help”

  1. To start off with, there was an extremely toxic girl in the class. How i know is because i was actually best friends with her. I noticed some behaviors but i brushed it it off since i didn’t want to be disloyal. She would tell me we were best friends and yet when i went to school she didn’t like it when i sat with her friends. I never got the chance to confront her about it though because of what happened soon after. She talked bad about me behind my back and, horrified that all of the sweet words she’d told me were a lie, i told her we weren’t friends. When i went to school i noticed all the girls in the class were treating me different. I could only talk to one girl in the class, and, being a very sociable person i went into a depression. In desperation, i told a girl to tell the toxic girl that i was sorry. She accepted and told me she’d been testing the girl she talked bad about me too. Blinded by hope i believed her, desperate to have friends again. I told her i’d gone into a depression because nobody was talking to me. A while later we got in a fight again and the other girls did the same thing, refusing to talk to me unless necessary. I made friends with girls in the other classes and some girls in younger grades. Eventually however, my parents took me out of the school since we were leaving the country. Now i come to the real problem. I still had two best friends in the school and while talking to one of them, found out that my former best friend, before the toxic girl ruined everything, was now being bullied. My best friend told me this was because she was trying to commit suicide and other rumors. I didn’t believe she would or could do something like that and texted her. She answered and told me it was a rumor and i also found out that during one of our fights the toxic ex best friend had told the bullied girl that I didn’t want to be friends with the bullied girl. In my rage, i called my best friend who’d told me the rumors and lost my temper yelling about my toxic ex best friend. The best friend i was talking to was friends with my toxic ex bff but i didn’t care if she told my toxic ex bff. I am currently trying to help the bullied girl. I don’t know what to do though as i am not in the school and telling the teachers hasn’t stopped the bullies.

  2. I live in a school district that bullying is a way of life. Not just the students but teachers and staff as well. My granddaughter was being bullied by staff members because she is by racial (white/Hispanic) by several staff members. We went through all the ways to report this issue and in the meantime she was getting detentions, suspensions and winding up getting expelled for the last 2 months of the school year. All while this was going through proper channels. Doing this whole time we were being told there is nothing they can do about it each level we go up to. I have had to put my granddaughter into online school because no one wanted to do a thing. Now more children are being bullied and not just by the same teacher and staff but by other children and parents and child are getting the same response. Now there is suppose to be antibullying in these schools and yet no school are wanting to do a thing to stop it. I know Ohio has laws about it but will not enforce them as they should and refuse to do a thing when parents to the department of education and report it and show them evidence of what they have done and who they reported it.

    And when a child comments suicide and people wonder why. These are the same people that have done everything they can only to come up against a brick wall.

  3. My daughter was hospitalized for psychiatric reasons due to bullies. There have been at least 3 other girls hospitalized due to the same bullies. The school was notified and no efforts were made to even identify the bullies because my daughter didn’t know their Last names. I was told by the vice principal that they do not have a zero tolerance for bullying rule in place and that bullying is a natural part of childhood.

  4. Concerned Parent

    Riviera Schools administration in Miami don’t do anything about bullying. They blame the bullied. All the parents are tired of the bullies.

    1. Felicita Quintero

      I’m so tired of kids bulling my grandchildren if they can’t get one of my grandchildren they get my other grandchildren the school won’t do anything about daughter report it to the principal and still guess is to take them out of school and give them home school need help here!!

  5. I’m a child of the 70`s and 80`s. However.

    I might’ve eaten a few lead paint chips, and, I was definitely in the military before the turn of the century.
    I’m not angry about anything, unless it directly involves my family, and in particular, my children.

    I was a late bloomer, and didn’t have my daughter until later in life. (I was lucky enough to have a beautiful baby girl, in 2010), plus two older stepsons from a previous marriage. Who are both unbelievably smart, and we’ll rounded young men, (Thanks to their dad). Whom I dearly love as my own.

    However…… I see things that need to change….
    Here’s what I, in my honest opinion (imho) everyone needs to think about…

    Number one. Quit Being so, “nice”. This isn’t the, “woke” society we’re talking about. This is your child, flesh and blood, that you would do anything to protect.

    Number two. Go ahead and talk to the parents… do you really think they see their child as anything other than, “perfect”.? And, don’t contact them via email. Get them face to face. Be nice…
    Let’s face it, it’s a, “sue happy” society.

    Number three. Go to the school. Really? What do you think they’ll do? They’ll move your child, who is not the problem maker.

    Lets get it right, folks. Problems are best faced straight on, with the right results. Use the legal system, and the correct options when discussing with the parents of the offender.

    Let the child who is being bullied know, and understand that they haven’t done anything wrong, and that they are loved. (I’m a grouchy old man, however, I told my daughter, (the truth) (if , “I like her, she must be ok”. ).

    Tell the parents of the offender, what legal recourse you are going to take if the, (“crap” doesn’t stop”). ( Usually, that incurs taking their money). (“My attorney will be in touch with you”). It’s a simple civil matter.

    Have proof, be involved, get the offenders (texts/social media posts) to your daughter/child… , And figure it out.

    It’s time to put a stop to this stuff for our children.
    Be involved. Stop being, “afraid” to defend yourselves, and your children.

    And, quit with the, “it’s so sad” comments. Do something about it for yourself, and your child.

    Hope you all read it, and gain something from it.

    1. Hello Pat. Really enjoyed what you had to say. Unfortunately my great-niece that is being so sadly and severely bullied doesn’t have a mother or father present in her life she lives with my mother her great grandmother. And my mom is scared to do anything about it afraid of what these four girls that jumped my niece with what their families might do to retaliate against my Mom and niece. Unfortunately there’s no men there to protect them if the bullies families decide to retaliate and if they’re raising heathens they’re probably heathens themselves. Would be great to have a male family member that is ex-military to protect them. But unfortunately all cases are different. I pray for your child that’s being bullied and that everything works out. Thank you Serena

    2. You are an Angel!!
      Thank you for your priceless, and entertaining advice!
      You should write a book on this topic.
      God Bless.

  6. My son experienced bullying from early on. As early as 5th grade, and he was at the time in a private Christian School, boys would poke his stomach over and over and laugh at him. Later, in 7th grade, I found out that a couple boys would kick him on a daily basis as he walked from one class to another. Same grade he came home with lead pencil holes in his hand. He told me the teacher put him next to a boy in class who used his sharp pencil to jam the led into my son’s hand. I saw the lead in his hand. I went to the principal and teacher. Nothing happened to the other kid. In the same grade one day when I picked him up from school I noticed a circular scrape on his lower arm. I asked what it was and he finally told me a bunch of guys held his arm down and twisted the top of a Gatorade bottle on his arm until it tore his skin and bled. I met multiple times with the principal. It went nowhere. I decided to homeschool him after that so he spent 8th grade being home schooled. Which was wonderful. He thrived and his State testing were the highest he ever had that year. I sent him to a charter school in 9th grade. In 10th grade he wanted to be on Football so I returned him to public school. That year he was horribly teased by nasty boys writing “gay books” about him. I saw these nasty drawings, had a meeting with the principal. It went nowhere!
    My son is the nicest, happiest, most generous person I know. How he survived the brutality of public school is beyond me. Nothing parents do helps. I spent day after day after day meeting with principals over the years and never once were the offending kids ever held responsible for the bullying. If my son had any inclination to retaliate, like what was done today, he would have been deemed the aggressor, the attacker, never would he ever have been seen as the victim. The reason? Public schools will NEVER hold themselves accountable for their FAILURES to the children who attend public school. School shootings are a tragedy. Stopping school bullying is the cure.

    1. Omg. I Thank God your child survived all that he went through!! My heart breaks for you and your son. Thank you for being “present” in your child’s life.

      Many parents are too busy working and haven’t a clue, that their child is suffering.
      All the best to you and your child.

  7. Laura Steinfield

    Oh yes, but it does happen! My daughter got bullied, we told the school, and they did nothing, They were even on bully’s side!

    1. The same thing is happening to me my daughter is being bullied an the school is doing nothing an i have 2 police reports cause of it. Their even giveing me a hard time to hospital homebound my daughter so that she can get a education. Im to the point im gona pull her out of public school system

    2. My daughter and I are in the same situation. It’s heartbreaking. What did you do?

      My daughter and I are in the same situation. It’s heartbreaking. What did you do?

    3. Myamilyn helmstetter

      I am having the same issue now had to pull my child out of school now telling her to die and kill herself

      1. As early as kindergarden for my son. My son doesn’t have a mean bone in his body. These kids threatened him, saying they have guns and know where he lives, that they would hurt his family, they would take his things, physically, punch, kick, headlock him, and tell him he has no friends, nobody likes him. All year. All year we respectfully went to the teacher, principle, counselors. Next year I will have zero tolerance for it. Good luck out there.

  8. We had such a horrible time with bullying with my son, we took him out of public school and home school him. I hate how apathetic the school system is regarding this very important subject. I wonder how our principal would have reacted had it been her child who was bullied?!

  9. Great ideas, I usually contact my child’s teacher and let them know what it is going on. Then if I don’t like the response, I will take it a step higher and call the principal or school counselor. No child should have to deal with bullying.

  10. These are great ideas. Bullying is such a serious issue. So sad that it goes so far, it is good for parents to intervene and get the help their kids need.

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