Many first time parents (or seasoned parents for that matter) need help finding the spark again after a baby. Your world has just been flipped upside down. Instead of coffee and the paper quietly at the kitchen table, your mornings are now filled with feedings, and soothing sounds mixed with baby cries. Sounds romantic right? How do you find the spark again when your days seem to be consumed with being a parent instead of a partner?
Tips for Finding the Spark again After Baby
Do nothing: Sounds a little counterproductive, no? What I mean is just do nothing, together. Sit down and catch up on some shows and just be together. Hold off on the dirty dishes in the sink (I promise they will still be there in the morning, unless you have dirty dish fairies, in that case, share the love). Don’t worry about picking up your baby’s things, she will just use them again in a few hours. Nothing is more important than your marriage.
Stay in and reconnect: Many first time parents try to get out and plan a date night. Let’s be honest that takes a whole lot of energy that neither one of you can spare! Finding someone to watch your little cherub, making the never ending list of her wants and needs and when to change her and put her down, which teddy bear is her fave and so on. Don’t do that. Save you energy and stay in and enjoy each other again! What did you used to do before baby? Do that again. Did you play card games or board games, watch movies, dance in the living room? Think of those simple times and recreate that.
Related: Date Night Ideas for Parents without a Babysitter
Treat yourselves: You might find yourself drowning in breast milk or formula and cold meals. Jump at the chance for a late night snack with your love. Forget for a minute about the baby weight, and just eat the ice cream together. It’s amazing what a little treat and a bit of QT can do for your marriage, even it is only 30 minutes while baby naps.
Talk: Communication is key in any relationship right? So many new parents are consumed with the baby (and why wouldn’t you be?!) Don’t get so consumed that you don’t tell each other how you are feeling. Having a new baby brings a whole new level to your relationship but keep the lines of communication open. Ask your partner how he is feeling and be sure to let him know what a great job he is doing and how helpful he is. Men tend not to be the best communicators (at least most of the ones I have met), but they need to hear the good things too! It opens up the conversation about how you are feeling too.
Leave notes: It might sound a bit high schoolish, but so what? I loved it when my husband left me notes. Not only did we have a new baby, but when I went back to work, I worked the night shift. Talk about never seeing each other! I would come home from work, and he would be going out the door. We started to let each other know how appreciative we were of each other by leaving notes or writing on the dry erase board for the other one. It was so sweet to come home and see he had been thinking about me.
There is no doubt when you have a new baby, your lives are consumed with feedings, and baby toys and before you know it you find yourself knee deep in poop. Somehow that doesn’t scream romantic to me! That baby was created and born out of the love you have for each other; you can get it back.
23 thoughts on “Finding the Spark Again After the Birth of Your Baby”
It can be hard to get back into the swing of tings romantically after the birth of a baby. I think communication is a big part of that journey.
This is so important. Once you become parents it can be hard to separate yourself from the parenting role and be a couple again.
I think it can be a challenge at first for dads sometimes because the changes that happen to a woman who just had a baby. My husband was a little unsure of how to reconnect with our first because it was awkward. .
These are such wonderful tips! Getting back to your normal “relationship” life is sometimes a bit difficult alright.
These are great tips for reconnecting after you have a baby. I like the idea of staying in and just being with each other. I will have to share this with a friend that just had her first baby a few weeks ago.
All of your tips are great. It’s so important for couples to connect with each other, even with the demands of having a new baby.
It’s so easy to lose touch with your partner after the baby comes along. These are great tips on reconnecting. It’s so important to focus on each other whenever you get the chance. Taking a walk is a great way to have time to talk because the baby usually sleeps in the stroller. 😉
It was definitely hard to find the spark for awhile after I gave birth. It is definitely important for couples.
These are great tips!! That first year can be crazy after the baby is born and getting everything in life back on track.
We are due with our 6th baby in May. I so can relate to this post, great advice. Having a baby definitely takes a lot out of you!
These are some helpful tips. Being a mother brings about a lot of changes but it’s important to keep the romance in the relationship.
Wow, what great tips. I remember how hard it was to find my groove again after kids and it was not easy. I agree that talking it out, really helped. Thanks for sharing
Great reminder to not get too stressed over where the spark has gone post baby. These are great tips even when your kids are older and eating up your time in other ways.
These are all great ideas- My girlfriend told me the easiest way for her and her hubby to reconnect was actually bonding over baby’s bath time and sleeping rituals!
I think reconnecting with your spouse after children is such a great idea! I’ve found that weekly date nights are vital!
I think it is very important to find a way to always connect. I know after having a child you’re tired and I am as guilty of it as the next person. But we do need to find a way to always connect with our spouse.
This is a great post for anyone who just had a baby. I’ve got several girlfriends who had a hard time finding that spark again after they switched hats over to mommyhood.
These tips are truly amazing! I know some couples who lose spark after having a baby. These will be helpful.
As a new mom I can not agree more that communication is so incredibly important to keep that spark going when a new baby comes into your lives. New babies are amazing, but your partner was there first and needs his/her attention too.
Being a mom, I know it is not that easy to get back to a normal life after delivery & these are some great tips to make sure you can bounce back & find the spark needed to lift yourself up.
Awe what a lovely post. Having a baby is hard.
Date night is important after you have a baby. It’s nice to be able to have time for each other!
I would think that talking would be a great first step to re-connect after the birth of a baby 🙂