What To Do When Twin Toddlers Are Bullying Each Other

Are your twin toddlers bullying each other? Learn a few easy tactics to turn your babies back into best friends instead of arch nemeses and restore harmony!

Having twins is a wonderful experience, but what do you do when Twin Toddlers Are Bullying Each Other? This is one of those situations that parents struggle with on a regular basis. As toddlers grow and come into their own individual personalities, it can be especially hard when they are twins. The same age, yet with different personalities, needs and emotional development can result in conflicts and difficulty for the child and their parents.

What To Do When Twin Toddlers Are Bullying Each Other

Give them separate time alone with you. Sometimes bullying amongst toddlers, especially twin siblings comes from a need to garner more attention. This can especially happen if one is dealing with a toddler speech delay and the other isn’t, for example.  Picking on the sibling they believe gets more attention is there way of lashing out. While you may provide them with equal attention, it is important to make sure both child feels loved and cared for on an individual basis by their parents. That means “dates” with just you and the individual child alone. Special one on one time will build their confidence and help them to no longer feel left out or jealous of the other child. Being a twin is especially tough at the young ages when they value their parents attention the most.

Create individual space for their own belongings. Twins are often expected to share everything. Even at toddler twin age it can be tough to handle having nothing to call your own. Give your twin toddlers individual space for their own belongings. This includes giving them items that are different from each other so they feel some uniqueness. Twins often gravitate toward the same things, and that is great. You still want to encourage them to explore other interests apart from each other, and that begins at an early age.

Give them structured playtime. Sometimes something as simple as a structured routine will help them considerably toward getting along better. Routines keep them focused, teach them discipline and provide comfort. Twins typically thrive when they feel secure and comfortable about themselves, each other and their parents.

Talk to them on their level. Try to talk to them and figure out why they are bullying each other. At this age, bullying is a harsh word that may not even fit their actions. Picking at each other, or being mean during play time can be caused by everything from physical exhaustion (need more sleep), to teething or even the stress of potty training. A toddler is going through a ton of emotional and physical changes and those should be considered.

Just because your twin toddlers are bullying each other now does not mean they will be life long bullies. Typically the toddler years are those where they are learning limitations, growing into their own personalities and understanding the world around them. Be patient and teach them how to be respectful to each other while you listen to their needs.

Have you ever dealt with twin toddlers bullying each other? How did you handle it?

12 thoughts on “What To Do When Twin Toddlers Are Bullying Each Other”

  1. I am not usually the type to disagree, however, as a mother of two sets of twins age 2 and 4 I can say many things in this article are wrong. unless you have unlimited space and money to buy two of everything encouraging “mine” in toddlers is encouraging them to fight. I do make sure that each child gets as much one on one time with me as possiable.

  2. You’ve got some valid points! I love that you’re sharing your expertise as a mom, to other moms. My kiddos are all six years or more apart, so we didn’t have a lot of bullying. I’m sure if they were closer together in age we might have. 😉

  3. Great read! I don’t have twins but I do have 6 children ages 11-18 and have dealt with more than my fair share of bullying…..It comes down to respect for one another.

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