What kind of mom are you? I bet when that second line came up on your pregnancy test, you saw an image in your head of the type of mom you would be. Maybe you knew you’d be a worrier, hovering over your tot to protect him from every bad thing imaginable. Perhaps you thought you’d be a free range parent, letting your kids explore the world on their own terms. Now that you actually are a mom, though, did your vision change? What kind of mom did you become versus the kind you thought you’d be? Check out some characteristics of the different kinds of parenting styles out there and find out just what kind of mom you are!
What Kind of Mom Are You?
The Helicopter Mom
It’s a fine line between being a loving and supportive parent and becoming an overbearing Helicopter Mom. As a Helicopter Mom, you are likely involved in every single aspect of your child’s life (as all parents should be), but to a fault – being overly focused on your children. During the toddler phase, a helicopter parent is most likely one foot behind their child, always making sure he/she doesn’t get into anything too dangerous. While that makes sense, some moms take “too dangerous” to whole new levels and may often direct the way their toddler plays.
The unfortunate downside to this type of parenting approach is that our children won’t have any time to be by themselves to learn from their mistakes, to explore on their own for the sake of exploring. I have been called a helicopter mom before, so I understand how hard it is not to step in every ten seconds. But with a little space, our kids are likely to thrive and become more well-rounded individuals; while our anxiety levels as moms will lower.
The Chill Mom
This kind of mom is basically the exact opposite of the Helicopter Mom – a mom who is not as hands-on with their child as others. They are more likely to let their kids explore freely at the park. They’re kind of like free-range moms, which is great for allowing kids to learn through experiences. Like hovering, too much freedom can also backfire. Kids need balance. They need to know that you believe in them enough to figure things out for themselves, but that you’ll also be there if they can’t.
The Cool Mom
Honestly, this is the kind of mom I aspire to but I know I will never be: the Cool Mom. She’s the mom you see who always look like she’s having a blast with her kids. First thing in the morning, she’s out there with her brood and their dog, walking around the neighborhood looking glamorous and put-together. She drives a cool car, which is always spotless (outside AND inside, you’ve noticed for some reason!) and looks amazing dropping the kids off at preschool when not wearing a speck of makeup. And to top it all of, she is just SO NICE all the time! The only thing that I can think of to say about the Cool Mom is that maybe things aren’t as perfect as they appear from the outside behind closed doors. And if they are, well then, she truly is perfect. Good for her. Maybe she can give me some pointers!
The Busy Mom
For a while, I was a Busy Mom but then I couldn’t keep up the pace. Let me explain: a Busy Mom is one who has something to do and/or planned literally every single waking second of the day. Mom & Tot yoga? Yes! Mom & Tot swimming lessons? Yes! Baby And Me Classes? Yes! Playdates? Yes! Also, plans on weekend and plans on evenings, either with or without their children. Personally, I think it’s great to try different activities with your kids, and to get out there and meet other moms and dads in the neighborhood. But if you become so busy that you can’t fully enjoy the moment (like I did), then perhaps you need to slow it down a little bit.
All moms worry, period. About pretty much everything. But if the level of your worry is keeping you from enjoying being a parent, then you are most definitely a Worrier Mom. Sometimes we need to step away from Dr. Google and stop analyzing what possible diseases our kids could have because they have a nasty cough. And sometimes it’s OK to let our boys play with their cars and not force them to sit down and learn their alphabet if they don’t want to. Our kids will get there, and so will you. You just have to be patient with them, and more importantly: patient and forgiving with yourself.
All Of the Above
Just as no two kids are the same, I think it’s safe to say that no two moms are exactly alike either. Moms are so many different people all day long (coach; cook; chauffeur; referee; playmate; partner; friend; confidante; boss; employee; etc.), that it makes complete sense to feel as though you might be all of the above types of mom at one point or another – maybe even all at once! I know I am!
These kinds of moms are ones that I’ve noticed in my own daily life; through my own circles; and during the adventure of raising my only child who is now four. No one kind of mom is better than another – after all, we’re all in this together, right?