Becoming a mom changes you in ways that you can never imagine. Not only does everything we do become all about our kids, but we think about things so much differently once we become parents, and we appreciate things in an entirely new way. Once I became a mom, my perspective on life changed so much. I found myself thinking a lot about my childhood and the importance of my own mother in my life – including shaping me now into the mom that I am with my a child of my own.
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Here are some things that I want to say to my mom, now that I’m a mother myself.
How did you do it all?
My family and I came to Quebec from the UK when I was only two years old. We came here for my dad’s job, and my mom was a stay at home mom to my brother and me. We were the only ones from our family to live in North America – my mom was at home with us, without her own family nearby; knowing no one at all, and not able to speak French.
My mom baked pretty much every day; she made us our Halloween costumes; and she taught us both to read before we started school. Our house was immaculate, my father’s work clothes ironed, and there was always a hot home-cooked meal on the table every night. I totally took it for granted when I was young, maybe more so once I became a teenager. I guess I just didn’t think about it – I was just a kid!
And now? WOW, my house is pretty much in shambles every day, and the nightly meal is often leftovers. My mom did all that she did with grace and never once complained. I really don’t know how she did it all. The amount of respect that I have for her now is huge, and I don’t even think she knows it.
It seems like there are a million apologies I should say to my mom, I don’t even know where to start. I guess the biggest apology I owe her is to say that I’m sorry for giving her such a hard time when I was an angst-ridden teenager. I was truly awful to her when she was just trying to look out for my best interests and keep me out of harm’s way – which happened to be the only place I wanted to go. I’m sorry for all the sleepless nights spent worrying about me, and for talking to her with such disrespect. I’m sorry for making her feel Less Than, when she was (and still is) so much More Than.
Now that I’m a mom myself, I know why she did and said the things she did. Now I get how it must have made her crazy to see me hurting, sad and anxious. Mama bears look after their cubs above all else. End of story.
Thank you for being the mom that you were and continue to be. Thank you for being the grandmother you are now to my son. Thank you for everything you’ve ever done for me.
How do you tell your mom how much she means to you? Do you give her hug when you see each other? Do you call her for no reason, just to chat? Do you tell her you love her? Do you laugh over the past and look forward to the future together as mother and daughter, and as friends? I am the person that I am today because of my mom, and the mother that I am to my son because of the parenting example she set for me.