Have You Lost This Lately?



by:  Rita Duponty

No it’s not your car keys or your cell phone.  It’s something much more precious.  Is it possible you have lost your identity?  That awesome person you are with great qualities that separates you from everyone else, YOUR IDENTITY.

In speaking with many women over the years, it is clear that some have had to re-claim their identity.  No doubt that is also true for some men.  Unfortunately, after a divorce or death of a spouse some women have come to realize that they had put their own desires, likes and dislikes “on hold” for years.  Even teenagers have been known to follow this same course within serious relationships.   I am not a psychologist.  There are many reasons for this which I would not even begin to touch.  However, since all good relationships are built on compromise, would you recognize when too much is too much? Are there any possible flags that your identity has been affected?

 Here are some red flags that you may be starting to lose yourself:

  1. If laughing brought you great joy, have you stopped laughing most of the time?  In other words, have you stifled that part of the REAL YOU!
  2. Do you always say you are “sorry” when you did nothing wrong?
    Has saying you are sorry just become an automatic response?
  3. Do you do everything your partner likes to do; but do none of the things that bring you joy?
  4. Do you fail to express your opinion or feelings, if different than your partners, with the view it’s just easier to say nothing at all.
  5. Have you given up on any of your own personal dreams ever coming true?
  6. Do you eat and prepare only what your partner likes while completely pushing your own favorite foods out of the picture?

These are just a few red flags to look for.  Most people don’t even realize that they have lost themselves until one day the reality hits them head on.  The good news is though you can reclaim your identity and have a healthy relationship with your partner.  Remember, your partner was attracted to YOU—not to the person you might become.  By enhancing your own good traits and continuing to grow as a person you will bring refreshment and excitement to your current union.  Love yourself and have the courage to reclaim your identity!

22 thoughts on “Have You Lost This Lately?”

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  5. Stopping by from Social Moms RT This. I actually wrote a post similar to this a few weeks ago. It is so easy for moms to lose their identity to the identity of their kids, job or significant other.

  6. I would really like to give thanks so much for that work you have made in writing this article. I am hoping the same most effective job from you down the road also.

  7. Hi, thanks for following Plaful Decor! Great article – at first I thought you were talking about “identity theft”. But, personal identity is as important! I know you’re talking about partners in relationships, but I would add moms losing their identity when they have children. Maybe a topic for another day! 😉 Have a great week!

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