Ectopic pregnancy can be a terrifying experience. Between the physical and emotional pain, the procedures to fix it and the worrying about whether it will cause future infertility, it can really put you through the wringer. We’ve talked about ectopic pregnancy signs, symptoms and treatment options before, but never really delved into the emotional turmoil that this type of pregnancy can cause. Now, we are sharing personal stories to discuss the different emotions women go through after an ectopic pregnancy.
Olfa’s Ectopic Pregnancy Story
In some cases, an ectopic pregnancy can be as emotionally painful as a miscarriage, as Olfa shares in her story.
My children are 6 years apart in age and I am often asked why. Sometimes I do not bother to answer. Sometimes I reply bluntly: I had an ectopic pregnancy! Usually people stop there and I don’t want to share more: Because even if its been over 7 years, the hurt of losing a baby remains there: the baby would have had 8 years now! How did I discover I had an ectopic pregnancy?
I was 8 weeks pregnant and at work when I noticed some bleeding! I did not pay much attention to it but unfortunately the following morning it continued and I had cramps! I called the doctor and he recommended some rest. Throughout the day it continued and the pain became more and more intense! I went to the ob/gyn who took an ultrasound and announced: madam, we don’t hear the heartbeat of the baby. Imagine my shock! My husband was with me and I almost fainted when he said it. I wanted to tell him: please listen again! Are you sure, is your equipment defective? You know: you don’t want to believe bad news! But it was not!
He had to inject a medicine “similar to the one we use to cure cancer patients,” he said! Really, adding to the shock that I lost the baby he announced that terrible news! He said it was better than surgery. So he did that and of course he had to remove the baby! The worst experience ever! The nurse and the doctor were chatting while I was experiencing such a trauma!
Anyways, I woke up in the morning pregnant and I was not in the afternoon! I came back home (with the support of my husband) tired and depressed! It took me three months to recover physically from that. I don’t know if it was the medicine or the emotion but it was a tough time! I got back to work after 3 weeks! While some people think it is crazy, it was a way for me forget!
Nine months later, I was pregnant with my daughter!
Jackie’s Story: Before “modern” medicine
While I never personally experienced an ectopic pregnancy, my grandmother nearly died from one. It was the early 1950s, when medicine wasn’t quite as modern as it is now. She already had one child, my aunt Terry. I don’t even think she knew she was pregnant with her second child. The didn’t exactly have the best pregnancy tests back then. One day, she started experiencing intense pain in her abdomen. It spread up to her shoulder area, as is common in ectopic pregnancy. My gran was a tough woman. She worked as an EMT and was always on the go, so she pretty much just tried to deal with the pain.
Days passed and the pain became excruciating to the point where my grandmother was ready to pass out. She finally decided it was time to go to the doctor. They rushed her into surgery. Her tube was on the verge on bursting! The doctor told her if she had waited any longer, she would have been dead! He had to remove the entire fallopian tube. He told her that she would probably not have any more children. Obviously, she did, since I’m here today to write about it and I wouldn’t if she didn’t have my mom. In fact, she had four more children after that experience.
Ectopic Pregnancy Stories from Around the Web
Going through something as traumatic as an ectopic pregnancy can make you feel alone. Knowing that others out there have been through the same thing can often help. Take a look at a few stories from others that may help get you through a rough patch.
- The Ectopic Pregnancy Foundation shares a powerful and heart-wrenching story about coping with ectopic pregnancy after trying to get pregnant for many years. It took me six years to get pregnant with my son. I would have been out of my mind with grief if I lost him to an ectopic pregnancy or anything else.
- As I mentioned in my grandmother’s story, ectopic pregnancy can kill you. Over at What to Expect, one member had a similar experience to my grandmother, in which she almost didn’t make it to the hospital. This story is important because Kristen describes symptoms that could easily be mistaken for something else.
- The Good Mother Project shares some incredibly upsetting and powerful stories from anonymous contributors. She does it to help others heal, which I totally respect and admire. One story is about how a woman lost her fallopian tube during an ectopic pregnancy and how it made her feel. Losing a part of your body, especially part of your reproductive system, can have a devastating emotional impact.
- Mary at New Orleans Moms Blog had quite a rollercoaster of emotions in her ectopic pregnancy story. Her first pregnancy was as textbook as it gets. Then came the infertility. When she finally did get pregnant again, it ended in ectopic pregnancy. To make it harder, it happened during the holidays.
I hope these stories help you find solace in a difficult time. Ectopic pregnancy sounds so clinical and it can be difficult for those on the outside to understand just how deeply it can impact your emotions.
Do you have an ectopic pregnancy story to share? Leave us a link in the comments and we’ll add it to the stories section. Sharing stories can help both you and others heal.