Should You Split Expenses With Your Spouse?

Relationship Money Issues: Should You Split Expenses With Your Spouse?

Relationship Money Issues: Should You Split Expenses With Your Spouse?  This question is the ultimate within most relationships. Statistically speaking, one of the top 5 things that causes problems within marriage and relationships is money.  Since we want relationships to be strong and healthy, then maybe is time for us to look closer at some ways that money issues within a relationship can be fixed.  Looking at this from various angles may be what saves your relationship or creates a stronger bond with your spouse.


Separate Finances Help Prevent Bitterness Between Spouses.  While many couples are happy with one spouse working full time while the other cares for the home and children, there are some struggle with bitterness over this choice.  If one spouse feels they are working harder than the other, no matter what the context, it can create bitterness and dissension within the relationship.  Keeping finances separate and both contributing monthly to household expenses may help alleviate some of the frustration of the spouse who feels they are working harder to provide for the family .

Separate Finances Help Spouses See Their Own Poor Money Choices.  Sometimes it is hard to see your own poor choices with money when your finances are all together with your spouse. By creating separate finances and accounting for your own expenditures without the buffer of the other persons income you can see clearly your own struggles.  This is often a great way for couples to work toward debt resolution as they individually evaluate their bad money habits.

Separate Finances Give Spouses Freedom To Spend As They Desire.  If debt has been an issue for either party, it can be difficult for the other person to not be watchful of spending.  This can also be an issue if one person is more frugal than the other.  Keeping finances separate and then pooling into a common pot for joint expenses (lodging, food, utilities) can give each person freedom with their other spending.  If your spouse doesn’t like your $5 a day coffee habit, but you are maintaining paying your half of the expenses then they have no room to complain.  Keeping your finances separate gives you the freedom to make those purchases here and there without judgement or questioning.

Separate Finances Help Spouses Learn Better Communication.  When you are keeping your finances separate, you eliminate some of your relationship money issues because it forces you to have better communication.  To stay on top of household expenses you have to communicate well with each other.  If one person is short on money, or perhaps they feel a need to change something in the budget both parties have to be open to listen.  Making decisions about big purchases like furniture, home improvements or similar will also create a place for better communication for both parties.  Being able and willing to discuss funds openly and honestly will help build a great foundation of communication that can help alleviate relationship money issues.

The question of should you split expenses with your spouse depends on the couple and each individuals needs and values.  Some more conservative households will scoff at the idea of keeping separate finances.  Some individuals would have it no other way.  Ultimately the decision is something that must be agreed upon by both parties.  Relationship money issues can make or break you as a couple.  Evaluate if the concept of splitting expenses with your spouse would be better for your family unit or not.

How do you deal with relationship money issues? Do you separate expenses with your spouse?

10 thoughts on “Should You Split Expenses With Your Spouse?”

  1. I really enjoyed this post, I think its important for couples to be intimately joined in any way they can to be successful and trusting of each other.

  2. I am now widowed but when my husband was alive he used to pay all the bills except groceries which I handled.

  3. We share our money and our bills. We have learned over the years to think 2 or 3 times about purchasing something, no more impulse spending

  4. We share our finances. I know couples that don’t and they have a his, hers and joint (for shared bills) and it works fine for them. We like to share ours. We both have a fairly good grasp on our spending and it has helped us to learn to talk through things better.

  5. My fiance and I currently do not split expenses and share money, when we get married we have decided to do that.

  6. I think we might be the only couple who doesn’t split expenses. Even when I worked and had a steady check coming in we had joint checking and savings accounts. I never gave it much thought to keep separate accounts, actually.

    In our case I think if I wanted to get an account for myself (or my husband for that matter 😉 ) after all these years it might send off the wrong message, you know?

    Great post! Definitely passing this along. Have a great weekend.

    1. I think there are a lot of couples who would never have thought to keep things separately. If it is working for you to have joint accounts, then no need to change that. 🙂 I agree, it could be a red flag on either side if you suddenly wanted it – but communication is key. Whether your finances are mingled or not!

  7. This is an interesting post. Currently we do actually follow this method with our finance…but thats because it was too complicated joining everything. Now I feel that we made the right choice.

    1. While it doesn’t work for everyone, it can definitely be a great choice! Glad you see that you made the right choice for your relationship!

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