Once upon a time, becoming a mom in your 40’s was practically unheard of. Well, maybe not unheard of, but it came with all sorts of dire warnings and odd glances from family and friends. Now, though, as more women are spending their early adulthood on careers, travel and other endeavors, it’s becoming more commonplace. More women are waiting until their 40s to start having children and studies show that the old ‘use by’ date on our uterus is mostly a misnomer.
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Becoming a Mom in Your 40’s
Many mothers in their 40s feel that their years of experience contribute to a more balanced, relaxed style of parenting that provides increased security and well-being for the child. With a wealth of understanding of life at hand, these mothers exude the kind of secure competence and non-clingy love that makes for relaxed, engaged children.
Having the opportunity to have gone out into the world and lived their lives without restriction gives middle-aged moms the inner peace they need to be able to devote their whole attention to their families. Without that, even subconscious, resentment, these moms can provide holistic nurturing for their kids that is free of mixed messages.
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The biggest caution about having kids in one’s 40s is that, unlike for younger mothers, your own parents are much less likely to be in an active, engaged position for the all-encompassing early years of your child’s life. Anyone is apt to feel overwhelmed without people to lean on, be it for advice or babysitting; fortysomething mothers should make sure that they have a vibrant support network in place so that they aren’t suddenly left at sea without advice or a break.
Don’t let people tell you that you can’t have a child when you are in your 40’s. There are many women who choose to wait until later on in life to have a child. They want to be sure they are settled down, have a decent job and a good financial future.
17 thoughts on “What to Expect When Becoming a Mom in Your 40’s”
Didn’t have my first until I was 33. Now I am considering number two at 43! Glad to know I’m not alone.
So many different things to consider when becoming a mom in your 40s. Although I’m sure it’s quite different if it’s your first time or not.
Becoming a mother isn’t easy. I had my first at 27 and I wished I had been able to start sooner. When you are younger you have more energy, and your body recovers sooo much faster. I guess there are pro’s and con’s to starting young or waiting till later.
I think it would be more exhausting to have a baby in your later years, but you’d also have more time and patience I would think.
I guess there will always be disadvantages. But it’s really going to be up to the woman if they are willing to go through the challenges of having a child in her 40s.
This post made me felt a lot better. I am not considering a future with kids yet but if I do, it’s great to know its ok if I want to wait so I can get my life settled first.
happy for you. I am thinking to have in future…
Thought about it in my 40’s and quickly said heck no! Kudos to all who can and do! My granddaughter is more than I can handle and I only have her for a few hours once per week!
Loved this! I’m 26 and my hubby and I are waiting to have kids until he is out of school… there’s just too much going on with him working full time and studying full time to add a baby! Everyone keeps saying that waiting is crazy and we’ll be too old… psh it’ll be fine.
I always wanted children when i was younger, but I didn’t meet my husband until I was older. I was 33 with my first and 35 with my twins.
I am 38 and my daughter is 18. If I had a child in my 40s, I would be starting all over, lol.
Good things to consider! I think what age to have children is certainly a very personal decision.
When I was 20 I really thought I wanted children, but I as I got older I realized that I actually did not want to be a mother, so I am glad I waited.
I was One and Done at 30. Perfect age for me (and for her!). 40? Gee, that sounds so old to be having babies, but I know it’s not. Medical science is making it much more feasible to have children at older ages.
Good luck to you! I love it :)
I had my first child at 24 and my last at 43. I enjoyed both ages of having kids.
I think having children later is much more common now, great post :)
I could never do it at this age. I am so glad I had my kids young.