This Man’s Open Letter About Infertility Made Me Weep

Coping with infertility is something that I am all too familiar with. During the six years that I spent trying to conceive, I must have run through every single emotion a person can experience. Hope, fear, anger, depression, anger, denial, more hope followed by crushing sadness. It's an experience that is so hard to explain to someone who hasn't been through it. Except that's exactly what one man did in a Facebook post that has now gone viral. He explained it.

Coping with infertility is something that I am all too familiar with. During the six years that I spent trying to conceive, I must have run through every single emotion a person can experience. Hope, fear, anger, depression, anger, denial, more hope followed by crushing sadness. It’s an experience that is so hard to explain to someone who hasn’t been through it. Except that’s exactly what one man did in a Facebook post that has now gone viral. He explained it.

Related: Now This is an Epic Pregnancy Announcement Video!

Open letter about infertility goes viral, and it will make you weep

Dan Majesky from Cincinnati, Ohio told The BBC that he never expected his post to go viral. He didn’t write it hoping millions of people would read it. It wasn’t some sort of open letter to the world. It was actually a pregnancy announcement to his friends and family. His 3,000+ words, though, struck such a chord with all of us who have been through infertility and all of those who stood by helplessly, watching family and friends struggle to conceive.

 

Majesky’s post is open, honest and sometimes brutal. He describes in vivid detail what it is like to go through fertility treatments…and what it is like when those fail. A word of warning for the sensitive, he does use some “adult” language. Sometimes, though, when you’re going through infertility, there’s nothing else to do except curse. I cursed a lot. I screamed and cried and yelled at the universe. Why? Because who else could I yell at? My body for failing to cooperate? My not-yet-conceived baby for failing to be conceived?

Throughout the 3,000 word letter, Majesky writes openly about his wife’s miscarriage, the shock, and pain of losing a baby after trying so hard. It’s never easy to lose a baby, but when you finally get pregnant after so much trying only to lose it, it’s like a double slap in the face. I can’t even imagine that pain. I cried for him and Leah, for the baby they’ll never hold.

He talks about what it’s like to be jealous of people with kids. How hard it is when everyone around you is getting pregnant, and you’re still trying. Always trying.

You don’t want to hate people. You don’t. I think babies are beautiful. I think kids are awesome, but you can’t help the jealousy. The envy. The resentment. It really creeps up on you. And you search for positive things. And you talk on end about your capital-O Options.

That’s one of the hardest parts of trying to conceive. You want so much to be happy for others when they share their good news. You smile, you congratulate them. Then you go home and cry. You secretly hate them and their fertile womb. But you’ll never admit it. Except Majesky did. He admitted it for all of us.

To me, Majesky’s post went viral so quickly because he said everything that those of us who suffered through infertility ever felt. Every thought, every feeling that we tried to tuck away while we were putting on our brave faces. Then he offered hope. A light at the end of the long tunnel.

At the end of Majesky’s Facebook post are the three words every couple trying to conceive longs to say. “We are pregnant.” I cried tears of joy for them. Congratulations, Dan and Leah.

Did you read Majesky’s viral Facebook post? Share your thoughts with me below.

12 thoughts on “This Man’s Open Letter About Infertility Made Me Weep”

  1. I remember reading that post on Facebook and though I have never experienced what they have gone through I cried for them too and happy for them as well.

  2. Robin Ruehrwein

    I have never experienced this personally, but my heart reaches out to those that do struggle with conceiving. Children are something that a lot of people want in life and to have a hard time having them can be devastating. Such a great and inspirational story.

  3. Courtney Gillard

    Oh, this is so touching. I can’t imagine the struggles, pains and disappointment one is experiencing because of infertility.

  4. What a beautiful story. I could never imagine how hard it is to have a harder time having kids. I have two daughters and I’m so thankful for them. I’m just glad they always have other options for those that may not be able to have kids of their own.

  5. That feeling of hatred never really struck me as something that really happens until a an old college mate of mine creeped me out with the news of having a baby, despite us having a healthy competition with everything and me winning almost all the time. But the real good part of what I felt was that I was really good with her because she can finally make her mark on the world through her child.

  6. Carmela Mempin

    since I haven’t been on a serious relationship and I’m still single, I find it inspiring :) Because there are lot of couples who had a hard time to have their own baby. I do believe that there is a right time for everything. We just need yo Trust God and learn to wait :)

  7. A lot of couples are having a difficult time trying for a baby, but that’s not something that they should take against themselves. This is such a lovely letter, it’s quite inspiring as well.

  8. What a moving story. I can relate to Dan and Leah because I had a college best friend who thought she would never conceive. For 8 long years, she and her husband waited for a blessing. They were dead set on doing IVF when a miracle happened. My friend got pregnant naturally. Her son is now 18 years old and they had two other children after that. With faith in God, everything is possible.

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