If you’re considering becoming a SAHM, you might be wondering about the transition and how hard it will be on you. I know I did! These parenting tips will help prepare you! One of the best things about being a stay at home mom is being able to watch my son learn new things, experience different challenges and literally grow before my very eyes. I am so lucky to be in this position. But just as with any other job, being a stay at home mom definitely has its share of unique challenges. Here is a list of a few of the challenges that I faced when transitioning to a stay at home mom (SAHM) with my son.
Parenting Tips: Challenges of Being a SAHM
This is a pretty heavy issue, and I’d be lying if I said it didn’t hit me like a ton of bricks. When you have a career and you give it up to stay home and raise your kids, some pretty major challenges go along with it. All of a sudden, my days were no longer centered around going to work and then enjoying some downtime with my husband and friends on the weekend.
My days became about my son, and nothing else. From the moment he was born until now, almost four years later. And that’s obviously how it is for all SAHMs, but that doesn’t make it any easier to deal with a complete identity change: “Where do I fit into my own life? What do I have to contribute to society?”
The more time goes on, and the longer I’ve been at home with my son, the more I’ve become comfortable as a SAHM. But that doesn’t mean it’s easy. That doesn’t mean that I wouldn’t trade places with my brother who has no children for a day or two. Luckily now I know that thoughts like that don’t make me a bad mother – rather, they make me an honest one who gets as overwhelmed as everyone else.
Being at home day in and day out with your children can feel lonely. Sometimes very lonely. It’s one thing to spend the first year or so of your baby’s life at home while on maternity leave. But it is another thing entirely to choose to be home until your children head off to school – not that any one of these choices is better than the other!
Being with my son day in and day out was very lonely for me once my husband first went back to work after his parental leave. I quickly realized that I would probably lose my mind if I didn’t make an effort to get to know other moms in my neighborhood – which is exactly what I did.
I love my son more than anything in the world, but that doesn’t mean I don’t crave adult company and conversations that don’t revolve around Transformers and superheroes! Surrounding myself with a wonderful support system of other moms and family has helped me not to feel alone, and consequently made me a better mother.
Mom Vs. Wife
I have to admit, that I have found this one pretty tricky. To be “That Person” to your partner (you know, the most important one!) is a truly wonderful feeling. Needless to say, that all changes quite quickly once you have children. Life is no longer about just each other anymore, and that is a hard transition for some couples, myself included.
When my husband gets home from work, he is just as tired as I am. But after having spent the day playing preschool-aged games and role-playing; answering the question “Why?” 584 times, I am VERY ready for some adult companionship with my husband. My son cannot contain himself once his daddy gets home, and sticks to him like glue – as am I (or I try to be, in between making supper and cleaning up and bath time, etc.)!
Finding the balance between family time and couple time is tough for us- especially when there is so little energy left in our tanks once our little guy is in bed. My husband and I try to make time to be alone, by going on the occasional date, or even just hanging out at home together while my mom babysits our son.
The dynamic of my relationship with my husband has changed dramatically in the last four years; yet seeing what an amazing father he is has made me fall in love with him all over again.
I absolutely love the parenting tips in this video about being a SAHM. She addresses a lot of the things I said above.
Those of us who are SAHMs are so very lucky. Think about it: we get to be there for every single milestone that our children achieve. But being home from sunup to sundown is not without its challenges. But just like anything else in life, it’s how we choose to handle the challenges that present themselves that our true strength shines through. And as challenging as it can be, I could never do anything else then stay at home with my son.