I have known my husband for 19 years. I knew him when I was 18 ( so do the math on my age ) and he said: I want to live with you longer than you lived with your parents. Sweet, isn’t it? We are on our way to fulfilling this. Like any relationship, there are ups and downs, highs and lows, good and not-so-good. But overall we have a happy marriage relationship. I get asked this question: how do you keep that spark in your relationship? How do you make it work? While the following ideas may work for you, if a relationship is not a fit, it is not.
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Keeping the Spark in Your Marriage Relationship
My husband and I are both go-getters and daring. If he says “let’s go on a 3,000 km road trip!” I say : “Okay, let’s go!” If I say “I want to quit my job to build a business,” he says “let’s do it.: That being said, here are some things that work in our relationship that may work for yours.
Respect: We have tremendous respect for each other. While sometimes we have completely different ideas, we respect each other’s. We listen and try to come with a consensus. We don’t start yelling at each other: not in front of the kids, not in front of others, not even alone. I think that yelling and hurtful words (even as a joke) can have a damaging impact on a marriage relationship.
Team work: my husband and I are partners. If he cannot do something, I will and vice-versa. I left him by himself with the kids during a whole weekend. I did not cook, no laundry, nothing. He did not say a word. He did it because he knows when it comes the time he needs that, I will handle all the tasks at home. It’s team work. When my husband works crazy hours, I don’t ask him to help me with house chores. After all, he is working for the sake of the family. But when he is not overloaded, he is teaming up with me and taking charge of house matters.
Adult time: I cannot stress how important it is to have adult time: be it watching a movie when kids sleep or going for a date night. When kids were younger, we used to go for lunch dates. We sometimes managed to leave kids during one weekend for a romantic getaway. Our kids know that their parents need that time and they respect. They call it: Romantic time for parents.
Let it go and forgive: Like any relationship, we had some downs. It was when our first child was born. Our relationship took a hit for few months. That’s normal. But we managed to get through it by discussing, and remembering why we are together. Remembering good times is great.
Maintaining a great marriage relationship does take work at times. It’s worth it though. When you have that bond with someone who knows you so well that they can tell what you’re thinking even when you can’t, the good definitely overcomes the occasional downs.
What do you do to keep the spark in your marriage relationship? Share your tips in the comments!