Having a hard time keeping the spark alive after having kids? Don’t worry, we can help! We’re sharing our top four relationship tips for reconnecting with your significant other!
Let’s be real for a minute: having kids will inevitably change your relationship with your partner. I say it’s inevitable because when you consider the enormous changes that you go through physically, emotionally and psychologically becoming a mom, how can the relationship not change? Keeping the spark alive after kids becomes, well, let’s say it’s definitely a challenge! I’ve learned some really valuable lessons while trying to stay connecting with my partner, and I’m sharing them with you to try!
Our favorite relationship tips for keeping the spark alive after kids
1- We’re In This Together
When my son was born, my husband and were just like any other parents with a newborn: delirious, sleep-deprived and wondering what on earth we were doing all the time. We would look at each and say “What IS this?!?” countless times a day, and we still do four years later. We look at each other and communicate with a look, a smirk, a nod or a shake of our heads depending on what it is our son is up to. No matter what, my husband and I are a united front when it comes to being parents – we are a team.
This is a hard one for a lot of couples, and we are no exception. I’ve never been much of a talker by nature, and especially when it comes to talking about my feelings. If it’s not in your character, it can be tough. But it has helped my relationship with my husband tremendously since becoming a mom. Rather than sighing loudly and slamming doors if I’m feeling overwhelmed, or tired, or anything else (my old technique), I try to remember that my son will likely model his relationships after ours. I want him to be able to communicate with his partners in the future, so I make more of an effort to open up and communicate.
I know this one is easier said than done for those of you who may not have family around; or if money is tight; or if you’re afraid to leave your children with others. But you really must for the sake of your relationship. You can ask a friend with kids to come over and watch your children, and then reciprocate for them next time. And it doesn’t have to be an extravagant night out – and let’s be honest most of us are ready for pajamas as soon as the kids are in bed anyway (and sometimes before they’re in bed!). I’m all about the daytime date these days – I have more energy, I’m in a better mood, and I enjoy my husband’s company that much because I’m not completely wiped out at the end of the day. Even just heading out for a nice quiet walk with some coffee can do wonders to help you reconnect with your significant other.
4- Love Yourself
My body has changed quite significantly since I became a mom, and I don’t know if I will ever feel as confident as I once did. But I’m proud of what my body has been able to do as a mom, and I love my body because of it. It sounds cheesy, but if I love myself, my confidence is attractive to my husband. And those are the sparks relationships thrive on and need!
Keeping the spark alive after kids is difficult, but it’s important to nurture and prioritize your relationship with your partner. It’s not always easy, but it is so worth it.