Let’s Bring Food, Not Torches, to A Tragedy

When tragedy strikes, it's too easy to play the blame game and forget that real people are at the other end suffering. Let's be a true village and show support instead.

I live in Florida.  My mom works at a Disney World resort.  I have stayed at Disney World resorts.  I have a child about the same age as Lane Graves.  I could be that mom.  It could still happen to me.  How could that have been me?  Because I am human, and so are my children and because accidents happen.

When did we become such perfect parents?  You know, the kind of parents that freak (and horrific) accidents never happen to.  Personally, I think these days, with social media, it is so easy to just spew your thoughts and opinions on any given subject while you are standing in the grocery store line and scrolling through your newsfeed.  I think there are very few of us who would turn to the lady behind us in line and say exactly what we had just said to the entire social media world.  Maybe you would, and maybe you are one of the few I have seen lately who are in support of the parents who are left with nothing but heartache, tragedy and a hole in their family, oh and not to mention, the world of judgment from the peanut gallery.

Back in the 1980’s a little girl, about the same age as Lane, fell down a well in her aunt’s backyard.  It took more than 48 hours of non-stop work from rescuers while the world looked on from their living rooms (not their cell phones).  I am sure every mom during those hours felt a pang of fear for Baby Jessica’s mom, and maybe even shed a tear or two thinking, ‘what if that were my baby?’  It was an accident.  A freak accident, one that didn’t even involve nature and it’s creatures.  It involved a hole in the ground that her tiny body was able to fit into while she was out playing and being a small child.  Granted there was no social media for us to spew our blame all over, but there was more of a show of support for her family than I see happening these days.


I tend to stay away from leaving my thoughts and opinions on such horrific accidents that we keep hearing about lately on social media.  Whatever happened to ‘it takes a village’?  It seems these days the village shows up, but instead of baked goods, consoling words and shoulders to cry on, the village brings torches and pitchforks and is out for blood.  Can we go back to supporting our fellow parents?  




Do alligators live in Florida?  Yes they do.  Alligators will find a body of water and stay there, they don’t care if it is the happiest place on earth.  Does it matter that there was a sign posted that said ‘No Swimming’?  Should be dissect what ‘no swimming’ means and have conversations that go on for 100’s of comments talking about what that means?  Should we carry on a conversation about what you would put on that sign?  Should the beach be roped off to keep people out of the water?  What about a fence to keep the gators in the water?  Does any of that really matter?  Where do we stop?


 How about right here.  We stop right here and now.  We stop blaming those poor parents who just lost their son in the most horrific way imaginable.  Bad things happen to good parents.  I would show love and support for you should tragedy ever find your family, even if you might be part of the village who is showing up now with torches instead of baked goods.  

Our thoughts and prayers and hearts go out to the family of Lane Graves at this time.


What are your thoughts on the issue of people condemning instead of comforting parents in times of tragedy? How do you think we can change as a community?

9 thoughts on “Let’s Bring Food, Not Torches, to A Tragedy”

  1. I definitely think that as another mother if this happened to me I want people to stand behind me versus blaming me. That mother and father already probably feel guilty enough without us adding to that weight. I am sure they have a ton of what-ifs running through their head. We should support them and pray for them and remember people who live in glass houses shouldn’t throw the first stone.

  2. I agree with you for the most part. I have to add that people who forget their kids in a car are a whole different category for me. People are way to quick to place blame and judgment. Orlando was hit be 3 major tragedies that week and everyone needed kindness and love. They didn’t need judgment. I pray that the parents avoided social media during the news coverage.

  3. I wish more would just either be quiet and do nothing or if they must do something – help, uplift, feed, donate, etc for others. Be kind to each other.

  4. I have such powerful feelings about this and other tragedies like it. I just hope things like this can be prevented in the future, so sad a little boy had to lose his life.

  5. The Internet and social media has made it way too easy for people to give their unsolicited opinions about everything and anything.

    Back in the days we talked about what we thought about things amongst our friends peers and family nowadays people just take to social media to share things that were once private conversations. Even if we disagree with the way that someone parents their child when we begin putting it on a public platform we open up the door to injuring people peoples feelings and there sense of worth. I think people should keep thier comments to themselves most times because they don’t always know all of the facts in many of these cases.

  6. What a tragic accident. I agree there is too much judgement in the world today. We should be supporting each other instead of pointing fingers. I agree – take some food over to console the unfortunate victims and leave the judgemnt out of it.

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