Is It Normal for Children to Talk to Themselves?

Is it normal for my child to talk to herself?  This was a question one of our mommy readers posed to us.  A very valid question and one that I am sure others have as well.  I never really thought about it much when my daughter talked to herself.  She doesn’t do it so much now that she is getting older.  So, is it normal?  Is it something you should worry about when your child talks to herself (or himself)?

Is it Normal for My Child to Talk to Herself (or Himself!)?

Bright children talk to themselves

Is it normal for my child to talk to herself? This was a question one of our mommy readers posed to us. A very valid question and one that I am sure others have as well. I never really thought about it much when my daughter talked to herself. She doesn’t do it so much now that she is getting older. So, is it normal? Is it something you should worry about, when your child talks to herself (or himself)?

Studies have shown that bright children talk to themselves more often.  Do not spin this to mean me saying that if your child does not talk to herself that she is not bright, that is not what I mean.  Private speech (talking to oneself) is done to assist the child is accomplishing some developmental task. If your child is trying coloring and trying to stay in the lines, she might talk to herself, not necessarily about staying inside the lines, but maybe about what colors she is using.  School actually hinders this ability, as most teachers want children to be quiet when doing things.

Just speaking her mind

When kids talk to themselves, often times they are just verbalizing what they are thinking.  Kind of in the same way you and I talk to ourselves.  She is making sense of her environment and surroundings.  She is working on developing her language skills as well.  Kids have very active imaginations, talking to themselves proves this!  It is a sign of a healthy, active imagination and a curious child.

Don’t you do it?

I don’t know about you, but I talk to myself all the time.  I mean, I get the best answers that way, right?  When I think about it, I do when I need to feel the most organized.  If I am packing for a trip, or trying to organize a busy day and making sure I have everything I need, I tend to talk to myself.  It is perfectly normal for your child to talk to himself too!

We do it in private

As we grow, we learn that talking to ourselves in public is just not something people do (typically).  So we learn to just talk to ourselves in the privacy of our own home.  Kids just say whatever they want whenever they want.  Has your child ever asked a really embarrassing question, at what seems to be the loudest octave possible in the quietest of settings?  We ask these questions to ourselves, in our heads, kids have yet to figure out this filter.

Typically the older they get, the less they talk to themselves.  Around age 7 or 8 is when most self-talk will diminish, and they will do what we do as adults, have those conversations in our heads.  When kids are young and discover they can talk and form words, it’s fun for them!  I am sure they like to hear their voice, and they are just practicing without even realizing it.

Did you or do you have a child who talks to themselves?  What are your thoughts?  Share with us in the comment section below!


27 thoughts on “Is It Normal for Children to Talk to Themselves?”

  1. I have a 7-year-old boy. He talks non-stop to others to his stuffed toys to his parents everyone and everything. My question is whether or not I should be concerned because he will have conversations that go something like this. “Are you going to sit there? Because if you are I need to know. I can have a blanket.” And then answer himself in saying something like, ” you heard me ask you. Why are looking like you going to go to jail because I told you not to.” Not only do the sentences not really make sense but they are complete conversations that would take place between like two separate people but he is the one talking for both parts. And this is just all the time when he’s drawing a picture when he’s playing on his tablet when he’s just walking around the house there’s no stuffed animals involved there’s no inanimate toys or objects, it’s just him having a whole double-sided conversation with himself. Sometimes it’s just funny quirky little sentences, other times it’s downright arguments where he starts raising his voice and getting angry and pointing his finger. I am really beginning to become concerned that there might be something more going on.

    1. My 9 year old and my 5 year old both do this. It’s a problem because they are the early risers And the talk loudly to themselves while getting ready for the day. It wakes others up in our house and no matter how many times we have asked them to stop they don’t. I am beginning to get concerned that I need to talk to a psychiatrist.

    2. Hello Shirley
      My 8yr old do the same thing constantly. He is on the Autism Spectrum but high functioning I am a little concern because when I ask him who he’s talking to he always says nobody, or the fake Matteo kids (which is his name). Really thinking about taking him seeing someone to see if this is normal.

      1. Same for my boy, same age and high functioning ASD. Sometimes sounds like he’s narrating one of His videogames or tv shows.

  2. Alicia Sanders

    My daughter is 4 and she talks to herself. But when I ask what did you say, she always laugh. I’m just glad that she talks.

  3. My son is 4 he ask hisself questions and answers them he talks to himself but he really don’t socialize with any adults but me he does socialize with his brother and other children should I seek help

  4. My daughter is 11years old. Since 2 months she has been talking to herself in front of public with smiling on her face ,laughing and anger more often , and not at all bothered about the surroundings too.. What to do?

  5. My girl is 12 she started talking and smiling herself when I ask she always say nothing . She doesn’t share her thoughts with anybody in family .is it normal or I should consult with doctor

    1. Strangely, my daughter is the same age and does the exact same thing. I have been wandering this as well. I don’t think there is anything wrong with it as long as it’s not in public. Someone told me, that most likely the child is less social, so she talks to herself bc there is no one she knows who has the same interests as her. I used to do the same thing when I was around that age, and I only had around 1-2 friends and 1 was fake. We all remember being a preteen and everything was new and different, she probably does this, because she knows that herself cannot lie to her. But, other people can.

  6. My daughter is 9yrs and get judged shunned and isolated in many outdoor activities because of difference. I’m surprised to hear so many positive comments of such. It has definitely been a cruel experience for us and not really accepting

    1. If other kids are shunning her, it’s important to work with her to make her more socially acceptable. Kids are cruel–they aren’t fair, but learning how to fit into society without losing one’s strong sense of self is important. If you just hear “it’s normal” then you’re still stuck with a growing problem, so I don’t think that is helpful. Being shunned at 9 causes a cascade of problems al throughout life.

    2. Oh my word this helps me so much I have been down since finding out my 9 year old son does this in class and his teacher moves kids away from him. I think this is victimization from the teacher. She finds him distracting so instead of talking to kids he talks to him self…

  7. I have talked to myself when I was a kid. My teacher told that to my parents and they thought I might be going crazy. But now I feel that since I did not have many friends who I can talk to and my parents were really busy talking to myself made me feel better

  8. This article was very informative for me because I felt like something was wrong with my child cause she talks to herself all the time and laughs too

  9. my daughter talk with herself and image many girls are playing with her and she is very enjoyed and can not leave this thing
    im worried because she gave this thing names like Aftar

  10. I think it is one of those common questions many parents have on their mind, but it is quiet natural that kids talk to themselves as they have their own world of enjoying something out of the box. After all we do talk all alone sometimes on our own!

  11. Lol its nothing to worry about at all. My children both used to speak to themselves and when asked they explained excatly what they were trying to mull over…And By gosh I do it too so the apple doesnt fall far from the tree does it.

    It is absolutely normal for a child to talk to them selves!

  12. I agree with everything here. Of course when I was a kid, I used to think that some of them were weird but of course, my mom was always there to explain everything. It’s a nice read, I’d recommend it to anyone with or without a kid.

  13. Rebecca Swenor

    This is a good question that a lot of parents have about their children. I talk to myself when I am alone and I see nothing wrong with it. It is something that we have all done as kids and adults. Thanks for sharing the information and the question.

  14. In fact, I used to talk to myself when I was a kid and I still do it oftentimes. A lot of folks think that it is some sort of craziness; however, it is completely fine for developing kids. It is a kind of exercise which allows their brain to work more and it has tons of other health benefits as well.

  15. I remember that funny quote, “Of course I talk to myself, sometimes I need expert advice.” Gets me every time! It’s definitely okay to talk to yourself and it’s okay for your child to do it. It develops their creativity and their imagination as well.

  16. Haha! I don’t think there’s anything wrong with talking to yourself. You have to learn to encourage yourself when there might not be anyone else around. Great post!

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