How to Stop Co-Sleeping without Throwing Off Your Sleep Routines

How do you make your bedroom yours again and your child to be sleeping in their own room? Here are a few tips on how to stop co-sleeping.

I bet you never thought you would be co-sleeping, but you are, and now you are wondering how to make it stop.  I know, I was that parent that said “My kids will not sleep in my bed or room!” and somehow a small human made her way into my room at night and my bed was no longer mine (that is bed-sharing, and something different by the way).  You have decided you want your master bedroom back, it is probably the only space that can be totally yours anyways, kids have a way of taking over an entire house.  How do you make your bedroom yours again and your child to be sleeping in their own room?  Here are a few parenting tips on how to stop co-sleeping.

Related: When Should You Stop Co-sleeping With Your Toddler?

Parenting Tips: How to Stop Co-Sleeping

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Schedule and routine

 Having a bedtime schedule and routine will help to get your child into her own bed.  Kids (believe it or not) actually thrive when they know what to expect.  Create a chart, and do it together so she feels like she is a part of this transition and not just being told what to do (there are plenty of other things we tell our kids to do ‘because I said so’).  It will be a learning experience as well, learning to tell time and read.  Something I have done with my daughter is ‘to do’ and ‘done’ chart with things on it like brush teeth, clean room, pj’s.  When I tell her it is time for bed, she goes to the chart and goes down the mini list of things she has to do before bed.

 

Make it slow

Co-sleeping for a child is a very secure place to be.  Even if you are not in bed yet, them sleeping in your room is a very comforting thing.  Think about it, when you were a child and you were scared where did you go?  I used to love hot summer nights a kid because it meant I could camp out in my mom’s air conditioned bedroom in a sleeping bag.  Start the transition slow.  With my daughter, when I wanted to stop co-sleeping, I started by letting her sleep in my room during the week (it was easier with my third shift work schedule) and she had to sleep in her bed on the weekends.  She knew all week what to expect for the weekend.  It was only a couple of nights to start so it wasn’t a shock to her little system.  Being a room alone, in the dark is scary for a child!  Shoot, it is scary for me at times!

Related: How To Get Your Older Child To Sleep In Their Own Bed

Hype it up

Make a big deal out of her big girl bed, and all her toys and her own special space!  If your child’s room thus far has just been a place for her to have her toys and play, think about maybe changing it up.  Move around some furniture, get some new bedding and let her pick it out.  Maybe let her pick out a new stuffed animal to sleep with at night.  Making it fun is going to make the transition a bit easier.

Stay in the room 

At first, I used to lay with my daughter until she fell asleep, but she would literally lay there fighting sleep for an hour or more, I am pretty sure I sprouted some new gray’s  during that time!  It got to be that I loathed bedtime.  So I made a change.  I play classical music on Pandora for her, I would rub her back or head for a bit and then I would say “Ok, at the end of this song I am leaving the room and it is time for you to sleep”.  Does she magically go to sleep at the time I say?  No, but at least she knows what to expect.  As long as she is quiet and stays in her room, I am ok with that.

 

Only you know when it is time for the co-sleeping to come to an end.  Admittedly, my kids are in my room, and I am ok with this.  I know they won’t be there forever, and I like the closeness and the fact that they feel secure.  Admittedly, I used to say ‘Oh no, when she is (insert age) she will be in her own room!’  and I have done that before, she has slept in her own room for a time.  Sometimes there are huge changes going on your family lives as well, like a big move, or a divorce, and maybe during that time, co-sleeping is best, but that is for you to decide.

How have you dealt with co-sleeping and the transition to your child’s own bed?  Post your stories  and tips to stop co-sleeping down below!

31 thoughts on “How to Stop Co-Sleeping without Throwing Off Your Sleep Routines”

  1. My husband and I co-sleep with our three year old daughter but only because it’s easier. We both work long hours and the only time we forget to spend as a family is for the couple of hours at night. We all have the same bed time it actually works for us because we all get to bond. However, I would maybe like to introduce her to sleeping in her own room and bed for the future. I think honestly think kids kind of break themselves from sleeping with their parents(not always but sometimes). I don’t know of any teens that still sleep with their parents. So, I feel like when I give it time she’ll be interested in this transition on her own. I loved these tips though!

  2. Co sleeping can be a great experience. I found staying in the kids room with them for the first few days helped them make the transition easier.

  3. I found it very difficult to get my kids to transition to sleeping in their own rooms. These are great tips. I had to be patient and do it gradually and that seemed to work after a while.

  4. Co-sleeping isn’t something I really ever thought about until my sister had her daughter. She had a tough time make a transition to having her sleep in her own room. You give great advice that she could have probably used back then!

  5. I actually still allow snuggle time with my youngest… before she started school, hubby would bring her into me in the mornings before he headed to work… but she had to stay in her bed all night. It took time, but helped a lot.

  6. I actually never co-slept with my kids. They sleep in their little rocker thing then once they turned 3-4 months I put them in their crib. I heard too many horror stories about parents rolling on top of their kids. My hubby is a heavy sleeper and I just couldn’t do it. Thankfully both my kids were sleeping through the night by 4 months.

  7. I never had a struggle with co-sleeping because i usually kick my babies out of my master bedroom as soon as I get them into a routine. But I have a lot of friends who struggled with getting the kids into their own room. But now i have a new baby due next week and I am planning on co-sleeping with her a little longer than the others. So these are great tips in case the transition is harder than normal.

  8. We never co-slept I am always amazed when parents do. I figured whatever works for your family. I am such a light sleeper I’d never sleep if the kids were there!

  9. I appreciate your tips. One that helped me a lot was the saying that it takes 30 days to create a new habit. I kept thinking about this — it will get easier, it will get easier!

  10. We tried everything, and I finally just said, “That’s it. Time to get tough.” We put him to bed in his bed, and let him have a screaming wailing fit. That happened two nights in a row, and then he was sleeping in his own bed every night.

  11. For us, the key was to get her a bed she was excited about. She had trouble the first few nights and I stayed in her bed with her until she fell asleep. She then started to fall asleep on her own.

  12. Robin Rue (@massholemommy)

    I put my boys in their own cribs in their own rooms from day one. It worked very well or us to have them in their own room.

  13. My son and his wife co-sleep w/their little one. She’s two. They’re about ready for her to transition to her own room.

  14. Erica (@Erica's Recipes)

    lol ohhhh I am so guilty of this. Our son is almosts 5 and I let him sleep with me all the time. On the one hand I LOVE snuggling with him. On the other, my husband and I need out privacy back. I’m planning on using his birthday as the big moment – buy him a new bed and such – and cut that cord for good. Great tips thanks!

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