20 Strangest & Worst Things Kids Have Ever Said to Their Teachers

Kids say the darndest things, don’t they? Check out 20 of the worst and funniest things they’ve ever asked or said to their teachers!

What are the worst/funniest thing that kids have ever asked a teacher? Oh boy, the list could go on and on! Kids say some pretty hysterical things. When they are little, their funny or off-color comments are almost always innocent enough. The reactions they get from adults are fuel for the fire and are undoubtedly cataloged in their brains; as they get older, they say things that get a rise out of people, remembering the laughter from the past.

As we head back to school, let’s take a look at some of the worst and/or funniest things children have asked their teachers, courtesy of Quora, P&G Everyday, and TakePart.

Related–> 5 Things That Go Through My Head Daily As A Single Mom

What’s the Worst/Funniest Thing a Child Asked Their Teacher?

1. “What is a prostitute?” (The child meant to ask what a protestant is – oops!).
Teacher response: “I’m not going to answer that. Please ask your parents instead.”

2. “I know all about the Pilgrims. They were leprechauns who came to America to help people build houses.”

3. “‘I have a bear trap in my backpack. Want to see?'”

4. Student A: “I can spell my mom’s name.”
Teacher: “Oh yeah? How do you spell it?”
Student A: “M-O-M.”
Student B: “That’s how you spell MY mom’s name, too!”


5. “Can I touch your boobs? They look nice.” (From a 7-year-old, so a little more innocent, a little less creepy).

6. Teacher: “In what country do we live?”
Student: “’Tis of thee.”

7. Teacher: ‘Where are you going?’
Student: ‘I’m going to fly in the classroom. Ready for take-off, 3, 2, 1… Go!”



9. Student, to teacher with a military background: “Wait, so then don’t you have PTSD?”
Teacher: “Of course.” (The student eventually shared that her understanding of PTSD should have meant he wasn’t allowed to teach in a school around kids!)

10. Teacher: “What’s the magic word?”
Preschool Student: “Abracadabra!”

11. “Why aren’t you married yet?”

12. “Graphite, the black sheep of the carbon family.”

13. Student: “Do you play tennis?”
Teacher: “Yes.”
Student: “Then why are you so fat?”

14. Teacher: “OK, today we are reading Harry the Dirty Dog.”
Pre-K student: “Ugh! I read that book in the ’50s!”
Teacher: “Wow! That’s amazing!”
Pre-K student: “I was alive in the ’50s.”

15. “Why don’t you have any children?”

16. After a lesson on the Trojan horse, “Is that how condoms got their name?”

17. Student: “Miss Rangel! Guess what?! I got a new puppy! And guess what I named him?!”
Teacher: “Wow! A new puppy! How exciting! I don’t have a clue—what did you name him?!” Student: “Mr. Rangel!”

18. Upon hearing an announcement of a bus delay due to weather: “Ain’t nobody got time for that! I need to get home!”

19. “The First Amendment for birds is freedom of SCREECH!'”

20. Student: “My mom still has her father!’”
Teacher: “That’s good.”
Student: “’Yep, he’s in a vase in the living room!”

Then there’s this!

What are some funny or cringe-worthy things you or your kids have said to a teacher? Teachers, what are the funniest things you’ve heard?

12 thoughts on “20 Strangest & Worst Things Kids Have Ever Said to Their Teachers”

  1. Wahaha! I lol on these! I can’t imagine my son asking any of these questions to his future teachers, especially the “touching of boobs”.

  2. Such a funny post that reminds a lot about my school days as a kid and wondering what my kids would ask too. I love that tennis stuff and the one that talks about spelling the Mom name!

  3. I had a few ideas in mind about what my kids said to their pre school teacher but yours are by far funnier. Well; I guess kids say the darndest things ;)

  4. The kids I’ve taught have been so brazen! I’ve been asked if I forgot to brush my hair one day after I’d used salt spray (now scarred!). My fav is their spelling though, particularly a poster one child made on a ‘Seahore’ – an s was needed!

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