Am I an Over Protective mother? Am I Old Fashioned?

 

Am I an over-protective mother? Am I protecting my children too much and not giving them enough room to develop.

My 9 year old keeps asking for a FB account or a social media account and I am always saying No!!


First, FB rules state that you need to be 13 to have an account. Thanks to one of Ourfamilyworld FB fans who gave me this great info. Thank you Stephanie!! You can find Facebook Terms of Use at the bottom of the main page under Registration and account security.

esides FB rules and term of use, I find that opening a social media account for a 9 year old is too early. It can open the window to cyber bullying as one of Ourfamilyworld fans suggests. I think she is right, there are so many nuts going on the net and I do not want my child to be involved in them. He is too young to set the boundaries and to distinguish clearly the bad and the good things.

But I keep hearing the nagging from my son and even my sisters: my friends and my cousins do have an account and I am the only one left. You are Over-protecting me. Even my sister thinks the same. They let their children have a social account and they monitor it tightly. It’s a great learning experience to children they say. Yes, it can be a great learning experience but I don’t feel that my son is ready for it neither I am. What do you think? Am I over-protecting my child? I want the best for my child what’s wrong with that?

I think children should play outside instead of being hooked to the computer. They should discuss with their family members instead of playing long hours with their computers. My son’s friends eat dinner in front of TV or computer. They do not share family time. They do not share their day, their feelings. We find it’s important to have a family meal every day. We listen to our child and we try to help him grow. When I was young, we always had at least one family meal every day and it was a great time for me and my sisters. I want our children to have the same experience. Am I too old fashioned? What do you think?


31 thoughts on “Am I an Over Protective mother? Am I Old Fashioned?”

  1. Thank you Chauny for your good words. It helps me continuing on!! I always say to my son: one day you will understand. Hopefully one day, he will understand as your children did. Thanks for the stumble

  2. Just stumbled you. I agree, and I’m going to do my own post about this topic. Simply because I believe that people from this time have a tendancy to put you down and try to use a negative word such as overprotective rather than giving you the praise you deserve for being a good old fashioned mom. This is very unfair. So many deaths in the news of young people and still good moms get picked on. Well, to all good mothers out there, keep doing your good old fashioned thing. I raised mine that way, and I’ve already had 2 of the 4 come back to tell me that they understand why I chose to do things the way I did.

    Be blessed. Chauny

  3. I do not blame you at all and agree 100% with holding off. I am so sick of how fast our kids are growing up. While there are some advantages to technology oh it makes them grow up fast. Too fast! I am a new follower I hope you head over and check out my site!

    http://thatsawrapconfessions.blogspot.com

  4. It’s so difficult to know where to draw the line. You don’t want to allow things you disagree with, but hate for your kid to suffer socially. I know that I’m overprotective, but my kids are still small, so I haven’t reached this debate yet….

    I’m dropping by from the Alexa Hop with my sparkly little toolbar! I’d appreciate it if you would swing by A Helicopter Mom and comment!

    Mickey

  5. I totally agree with you. A little while back I posted about Child Safety Online not just within the social media but also web browsing and stumbling across some less than kid friendly sites. There are many child friendly browsers which can be customized to the age and gender of the child.

    I don’t think you’re overreacting. There are many dangers out there and it definitely is so much better to run around outside than sit in front of a computer.

  6. I completely agree with you! Kids should totally be playing outdoors and with dolls. Our kids are growing up way too fast!
    Its hard being a parent, its even harder when you have to play the bad guy for their own good. Stay strong!

  7. I do NOT think you are being overprotective at all!!! My 9 year old would not be having any social media account..and I actually doubt mine would in middle school either..and I’d have to think hard about a high schooler too. I just think …kids should be spending more time outside and growing their imagination instead of in front of a screen all the time. I remember practically living outside and in books and creating things! I think that is lost on this generation of children..unless we raise them to not lose that imagination! I think even as they get older there is too much focus on things like facebook and cell phones. We’ve already said that our kids will not get a cell phone until they can drive…that way they have it if they need it. That being said, we are actually not over protective..we let our kids play outside by themselves and have sleep overs and do lots and lots of things! But when it comes to technology.,.I find it an unnecessary extra for kids and teens..

    1. Hi Kasey,

      I agree, they should spend more time outside than hooked to the computer, tv. We limit TV time and computer time. I find when my children watch too much tv, they do not interact with their environnement, family. They do not develop imagination!!

  8. You are not being over-protective, you are actually being a good mom who doesn’t let her child rule her life. Kids don’t understand that they are not invincible, it is the parents’ job to protect them. If the only thing he has to whine about is not having access to the latest cool gadget, he’s got a dang good life. Maybe a little exposure to children who have had a taste of true suffering might stop the whining – at least for a little while.

    1. Rachel,

      when my son whines too much, I show him images of other children starving and homeless. He realizes then that he is lucky to have food, shelter and family!! It helps stop the whining for a while

  9. I don’t think your being over protective at all. I currently do not have any kids, but I know that if my 9 year old wanted one, I wouldn’t let her have one either. I just think 9 seems a little too young. Besides that, you know what’s best for your daughter, and if you have a gut instinct that she shouldn’t have one, then she shouldn’t.

  10. As a mom of three, one of which is a 12 year old boy….I agree. The exact thing I told my son is that I will never allow him to join anything that he would have to lie about his age. There is a reason why there is an age restriction. And let’s not be ignorant to the fact that there are real creeps out there. Cyber bullying like you mentioned is also a very hard reality. I was talking to my book club last night about this….sometimes there can be whole conversations on Facebook about one kid…berating them for what they wear, how their hair looks, who they hang out with. Why shove your child into an age they are not at yet? I’m sorry but I don’t care how old fashioned I might be I want my child to stay a child for as long as they can. When my son turns 13, we might do the Facebook thing but just as with his cell phone, I will moniter it. I read every text message and look at his phone calls. On Facebook, I will moniter his friends. Some parents might think this is over doing it but I was a kid who as a teen was basically left to my own devices….and that didn’t turn out to well….I will not allow that to happen to my kids. I don’t shelter them at all, we talk reality and they know that I will protect them no matter what and whether they like it or not.

    1. Elizabeth,

      You are so so right. Some parents think that their kids can be left on their own when they are teenagers. But they are only kids and they need our guidance and experience to help them find their way.

  11. Great post and parenting. No, you are not being overprotective. Too many parents are not being protective enough. In my opinion, high schoolers should not even have FB accounts because they do not know how to handle themselves properly on it and post and upload pictures to usually get negative attention or sexual attention.

  12. I think there are some social networking websites for kids out there that are locked down for what you can do and say. Kind of a super safe facebook.

    I don’t think facebook is dangerous but I think that it’s unnecessary at that age. At 9 they can play webkins and other game sites together but they don’t need to be posting status updates.

  13. Overprotective? NO! You are a caring and loving mother that stands YOUR ground and not influenced by others!! I am a mommy to 3 (little ones still) but my husband and I are standing out ground on technology (social media will be STRICTLY watched and only at the age of 15). Cell phone? NO, NEVER, NOT GOING TO HAPPEN. If and when we decide it’s one of those emergency situations, then they will have one of the ones that can only dial our number and 911. Computer? The central one is in the living room in plain view of everyone.

    You can never ever be too careful with your children!

    1. Thank you Michelle! I think the same too. The computer is in the central living room and cell phone will be for emergency situtations. I don’t remember having a cell phone when I was 9

  14. I think 9 is pretty young for a facebook account. I don’t think you are being over-protective at all. I would say wait till they are teenagers. Many of my younger cousins all had to wait till they were 14 to get one.

    My Adventures in Mommyland

  15. A few weeks ago, I also posted in my blog about a similar dilemma I had with my 9 and 8 year old daughters. My hubby and I both decided not to let them have their own Facebook account for reasons you have also cited in your post. In my opinion, you are not being overprotective. You are just following your gut and doing what you think is right for you and most especially your child at this point in time. People should learn to accept that. 😀

  16. My daughter is only 4 months old, but my husband and I have decided already that she won’t be exposed to technology. For one, when I was a child the internet was just getting popular and my mom didn’t know anything about it (the dangers, etc.) so I was exposed to many things I shouldn’t have been. Thankfully, we are more knowledgeable now so we know what to expect. Obviously, my child will have to use the internet for some things, but it will be monitored. She won’t get a FB account (It probably won’t be popular in 9 or 10 years anyway) or the new thing that comes a long. She won’t get a “smart phone” just a phone that has 911 and our numbers on it.

    1. Of course, I let my child use the internet for some games for his age and we monitor that closely. But I find he is too young to be on social media. I don’t think I will allow a smart phone too. If I get him one at 9, what will he ask at 15?

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