Looking for clever ways to quell temper tantrums with positive parenting? Check out these 5 that really do work!
Ah, the temper tantrum. Even notice how they seem to strike at the worst possible moment? Like when you’re late for work and just trying to get your toddler out the door, or when you’re in the middle of a crowded grocery store? Even the most well-behaved toddler cracks at some point. When it happens, the urge to reprimand loudly or shout at them can hit like a tidal wave. How you handle the situation as a parent, says a lot about your parenting skills, and your own temper. Children have tantrums because they have a sudden buildup of emotions that they don’t quite understand yet, and it’s their way of expressing themselves, much to our dissatisfaction and sometimes our embarrassment.
While shouting at your child for acting out in such a display is an automatic reaction for some, there are better ways to handle such a situation with positive parenting. Some of these ways you may not have thought of, and you might be surprised at the effects of using them. Check out five of our favorite positive parenting tips for dealing with toddler temper tantrums!
Quelling Toddler Temper Tantrums Through Positive Parenting
- Essential Oils–Yes, that’s right, Essential Oils. Not something you would think of right away now is it? When used properly, essential oils can help you calm your upset child, and maybe end temper tantrums for good. They can also help you to destress after an episode with your child. It’s easy to make your own calming blend for toddlers. I love this tutorial. Just make sure that you’re diluting the oils in a carrier, like sweet almond oil. Never apply undiluted essential oils directly to your toddler’s skin, and talk to your doctor first, especially if your toddler has eczema or other skin conditions.
- Move to Safety–if your child is having a tantrum in public, it is wise to remove him or her from the environment and into a safe area like a bathroom, or outside in the car. This will help keep them safe as well as any other people that might be nearby. Once you’re in a neutral, quieter location explain to them how you are feeling and acknowledge what they are feeling as well. Sometimes all it takes is a hug, but other times, it may take you ignoring them to make the tantrum end.
- Ignore but Not Completely–when your child is in the middle of a temper tantrum, do not bribe them and definitely do not spank them. Experts recommend simply ignoring them. Be sure you know that your child is in a safe place where they can blow off the steam that has built up, and cannot hurt themselves or others, then look the other way…sort of. This means keeping an eye on them to see their reactions to the initial ignoring, many times if they don’t think the tantrum is bothering you, they will eventually stop doing it.
- Speak in a Calming Voice–while yelling does nothing to stop your child’s tantrum, sometimes speaking to them in a calm and soothing voice will help. Explain your position to them and how it makes you feel to know that they are hurting and that you are always there to help them through it. Many times it’s enough for the child to know that you’re there to help them, and that can help stop their frustration. Be positive, forget negativity.
- Provide them with Positive Power–many times in their young lives kids just want to help and be seen. Throughout the day, give your child some control or power over what you do. For instance, ask them which movie they want to watch, or what snack would they like this one or this one, and even let them help you with household chores. Give them something to focus on, make them feel wanted and loved, and you may see less and less temper tantrums as time goes by.
Here’s the thing: toddlers are going to have temper tantrums. It’s almost unavoidable. When you think about it, it’s amazing they don’t have MORE tantrums than they do. It’s hard, being little and not understanding where all of your emotions are coming from, or trying to express what you want when you really don’t know yourself! When you react by yelling and screaming, you’re basically having a tantrum yourself. Think about the message that sends. Positive parenting strategies not only quell the current tantrum, but may even help cut down on the number of future tantrums.