21 Really Funny Quotes About Parenthood

Check out these 21 funny quotes about parenthood that are hilarious because they’re so true! We all need a little parenting humor in our lives!

There are so many funny things about being a parent.  You have to laugh at the chaos sometimes, and all of the other things that go along with raising kids: disciplining issues; struggles at mealtimes; potty training; the teenage years; etc., etc., etc. If you don’t laugh, you’ll go crazy, right? We’ve rounded up some of our all-time favorite funny quotes about parenthood from Hollywood celebs, internet superstars or just plain old mom superstars (because honestly, you’re a bigger celeb to your kids than anyone else in the world!). Check them out for a good laugh! I bet you’ll be able to relate to at least a few of them!

Funny Quotes About Parenthood

“Don’t yell at your kids!  Lean in real close and whisper, it’s much scarier”.  (Just like Kate Middleton did).


“ ‘You’re not the boss of me’ I whisper under my breath as I make 4 different lunches for my kids”.   Sarcastic Mommy @ Sarcasticmommy4

“It’s funny when you think back on the parent you thought you’d be before you had kids and how you judge other parents.  Then you give in to the reality of it and just wing it.”  Maya Rudolph

“Sometimes I’m so tired, I look down at what I’m wearing, and if it’s comfortable enough to sleep in, I don’t even make it into my pajamas.  I’m looking down, and I’m like T-shirt and stretchy pants?  Yup, that’s pajama-y.  Good night.”  Rebecca Romijn


“The quickest way for a parent to get a child’s attention is to sit down and look comfortable.”  Lane Olinghouse

“Everyone should have kids.  They are the greatest joy in the world.  But they are also terrorists.  You’ll realize this as soon as they are born and start using sleep deprivation to torture you.”  Ray Romano

“I don’t know what more exhausting about parenting: the getting up early, or the acting like you know what you’re doing.”  Jim Gaffigan

“Currently helping my son look for the chocolate that I ate last night.” @Hypercraxy on Twitter

“When I realize I’ve left my sunglasses within reach of my toddler, I approach like I would an angry rattlesnake”.  @Downtimedad on Twitter

“People who say they sleep like babies usually don’t have them”.  Leo J. Burke

“A two-year old is kind of like a blender, but you don’t have any top for it.”  Jerry Seinfeld


“It just occurred to me that the majority of my diet is made up of the foods that my kid didn’t finish”.  Carrie Underwood

“When my kids become wild and unruly, I use a nice safe playpen.  When they’re finished, I climb out”.  Erma Bombeck

“It’s amazing how quickly the kids learn to drive a car, yet are unable to understand the lawnmower, snow-blower or vacuum cleaner”.  Ben Bergor

“My kid is turning out to be exactly like me.  Well played, Karma.  Well played”.  Housewife Plus

“If parenthood came with a GPS it would mostly just say: recalculating”.  @Simoncholland on Twitter

“When your children are teenagers, it’s important to have a dog so that someone in the house is happy to see you”.  Nora Ephron

Having children means so many different things to each of us – yet one thing if certain: it’s important to find the humor in life as a parent!

I hope you enjoyed my list of funny quotes about parenting.  What are some of your favorite funny quotes about parenting?

14 thoughts on “21 Really Funny Quotes About Parenthood”

  1. Ann Bacciaglia

    These are great quotes. It is so true if you look comfortable the kids are going to need something. Get on the phone and all of a sudden the kids will need you as well.

  2. These are some top quotes – very funny stuff!
    I am certainly glad I do not have any children; I am more than satisfied being an aunt to 11 children in my family! I see from a comfortable distance away just how exhausting this role is!!!

  3. Hilarious! I can relate to most of these, but the wearing the comfy clothes to bed instead of putting on pajamas is me most days lol

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