This post is sponsored by Similac. I was compensated for this post but all opinions are our own.
At OurFamilyWorld, we are incredibly passionate about finding a way to end bullying for children. We’ve written enough on the topic to fill a library and we won’t stop until the bullying ends. Today, though, we’re going to talk about a whole different type of bullying: mom-shaming.
What is mom-shaming? Sadly, something that happens way too often and something that we’re probably all a little guilty of. Check out The Mother ‘Hood video (if you haven’t already seen it!) and you’ll know exactly what I’m talking about!
End Mom-on-Mom Bullying and Create a Sisterhood of Motherhood
Notice how all the groups of moms were acting like crazy playground bullies? The scary part? It’s not really an exaggeration. Maybe we’re not gathering in parks for a rumble all “Outsiders” style, but I’ve watched that scene unfold countless times on parenting forums, blogs and playgroups.
Name calling, belittling of lifestyle choices, threatening comments- these are all forms of bullying. We don’t tolerate it when it happens to our children. We don’t raise our children to treat others that way. So why do we do it to each other? Why do we tear each other down over choices like cloth versus disposable, breastfeeding versus formula feeding and so on?
We all make different decisions when it comes to raising babies. Every step of the way, every mother chooses what is best for HER baby. Rather than bullying each other over a difference in opinion, why not create a supportive sisterhood of motherhood so we can all build each other up instead of tear each other down?
Next time you’re in a situation where you get that itch to start mom-shaming another member of the sisterhood, I want you to ask yourself these questions:
Is the child in immediate danger? Obviously, if you notice a mom doing something truly dangerous, like improperly strapping her baby into a car seat, you should say something. New moms need help sometimes! But be compassionate, saying something like “I did the exact same thing my first time,” or “I remember how tricky those straps were with my son.”
Does she WANT my opinion? As much as you may feel the need to impart your wisdom, not everyone wants to hear it. If you’re in a debate forum, then by all means, respectfully share your thoughts. The key word there is “respectfully.” Remember, name calling is bullying. We’re not bullies, we’re mature adults trying to set a good example. Random strangers probably don’t really want to hear your thoughts on why they should be using cloth diapers versus disposable.
What do we have in common? You breastfeed. She formula feeds. You have a closet of fashionable cloth diapers, she bought stock in her favorite disposable brand. It just seems like you’ll never see eye-to-eye. Then you discover that you both read to your growing belly because you believe literacy starts in the womb. NOW you have a bond! Focus on that common ground rather than the things you disagree on!
Guess what? That’s not the only thing you have in common. You’re both good moms doing the very best you can for your babies. You’re both members of the sisterhood of motherhood. You both have a chance to help each other in countless ways, even if you disagree on some of the finer points.
Moms need to support each other, not bully each other. We may have different ideas on how to raise our kids but in the end, we’re all doing the very best we can. We have our children’s best interests at heart. What could possibly matter more than that?
How you do you think we can encourage moms to start supporting each other more? Share in the comments!
23 thoughts on “Stop Mom-on-Mom Bullying! Join the Sisterhood of Motherhood!”
Bullying is such an awful thing to face, people can be horrible. I don’t know why everyone just can’t get on.
It is easy to find common ground with most anyone. It makes sense to focus on that rather than differences, doesn’t it? :)
I agree with this, I’ve heard a lot of friends about this topic and most of the schools have this. I hope this campaign will be spread.
How I wish I could view the video. It says it’s not available in our country. Anyway, we should all stop mom on mom bullying and respect each and everyone’s parenting styles.
It would be nice if the world was just peaches and cream and all parents got along. Unfortunately the bullying is going on all too much. Such a shame how some parents (mothers) act!
I saw this video a few weeks ago. It’s perfect isn’t it?
Great video. Thanks for sharing.
That is a wonderful video, and so right on with the parent shaming! I wish more and more moms were less judgmental when it comes to how others parenting.
That video is a great one. I am so over mom judging and competition. Let’s just be good people :)
I am not one that judges others. Everyone has a right to their own opinion although if someone was bulling my children my opinion would be known. :)
AMEN to this, the ganging up on moms and judging their parenting practices is just ridiculous. I am so glad that I had my daughter before the internet was huge and people felt so fine with being mean online!
I have run across those women who thought they were better mothers than most others. You are so right when you say “We all make different decisions when it comes to raising babies.” The bullies just need to GET A LIFE!
I think it takes being more caring. I know I want to teach my daughters to be respectful open minded women. I try to exhibit that behavior. It takes everyone.
It’s amazing how often shaming happens! People need to learn to be kind!
I had no idea that mom shaming happens!! It can be crazy how much people feel the need to judge others.
I like when moms are able to come together as friends and give each other advice and such. Mom-on-mom bullying is never fun!
Boy this is a great topic. My girls are in their 20’s and I remember it well from clothing to sports. Mom’s could be the worst. I didn’t get it then and I still don’t! We just need to be a better society. Only Mom’s can do that by not judging and trying to help or if they can’t at least be nice.
I agree. It is so tough for moms, especially new moms to have to deal with others looking down on them. I remember that we got kicked out of a mom’s group because my two year old took a toy from another kid while I was nursing my newborn. They said he was a bully kid and that there was no room for us in the group. It made me feel like poop… Looking back, I was the only mom with two kids and all the others had no issues hovering over their children and I am glad that we left the group. What a fabulous way to make a new mom feel horrible…
That video is hilarious, amazing and should be watched by every mother. We are all doing the best we can and should definitely praise one another more often.
I love this! There’s far too much judgey mommy shaming going on out there.
I think we could stop trying to cast our judgements onto others. No one is perfect in this life and we need to stop pretending we are.
Bullying is an awful thing. Why can’t we all just be nice to each other?
Bulling is never a good thing… We should all just try to accept how we want to raise our children, and not bully others who believe differently.