There are some things you just shouldn’t say to a mom of twins. Yes, we know there are 2 of them and that they look alike. Yes, we know they are probably a handful, you don’t need to point that out, but thanks. In honor of National Multiple Birth Awareness Month, I have gathered a few things you just shouldn’t say to a mom of twins. Keep these in mind next time you run into one!
Related: Life as We Know It With Twins
Things You Just Shouldn’t Say to Moms of Twins
‘How do you tell them apart?’
I really don’t even like to acknowledge this question. I mean, I get it, people are curious. I can understand this question when it comes to identical twins, but when they are fraternal? For real, though, they are my children, I can tell them apart because I spend every waking moment with them, and, well, I gave birth to them. Simple as that.
‘My babies are a year apart; it’s kind of like having twins.’
No. It is not. Nothing is ‘like’ having twins, except actually having twins. One of your children was just about walking when your younger one was born. You did not have to carry 2 car seats into a store, or try to wrap and carry 2 babies on your body while you did some shopping. You did not have to wrestle 2 tiny humans into a car seat while they both have the ability to toss their sippy cups at your head. Nothing is ‘like’ having twins.
‘Did you want twins?’
Well, I asked the doc if we could return one, and he said no. What kind of question is this? Did you want your child who was not planned? We may not have planned for twins, but it wasn’t as if we didn’t want one.
‘Twins must be easy; they always have someone to play with.’
One would think, right? Well, why do you think that? If you have 2 children, do they always have a playmate? Do they always want to play with each other? I am going to guess no. Siblings are siblings, and well, people and not everyone want to be around someone all of the time, even if they shared a womb.
‘Are they natural?’
I know what you are asking, but really? Are my children natural? Are yours? You want to know if we used IVF or the good ole fashion way? No one seems to pose this question to moms of singletons. I am not sure what happens to people’s manners when they meet a mom of twins, but it seems like nothing is sacred.
‘Are they identical?’
Do you have eyes? First of all, if this question is posed to a mom who clearly has a boy and a girl, then the answer is more than obvious and probably doesn’t even warrant an answer. Boy and girl twins can not be identical (there I said it). Also, take a peek, do they look identical?
‘You’ve got your hands full.’
This is my favorite. Someone usually says this as they see you struggling and not help you by holding the door for you so you can get your double stroller through. Also, it is a pretty obvious statement, no?
If you are a mom of twins, you have heard these and so many more pretty ridiculous questions. Having friends who are moms of twins, I have learned a thing or two about what not to ask. It is kind of like being pregnant, the things people ask or say to you, you have to remember to not say them to other pregnant women.