There are some things you just shouldn’t say to a mom of twins. Yes, we know there are 2 of them and that they look alike. Yes, we know they are probably a handful, you don’t need to point that out, but thanks. In honor of National Multiple Birth Awareness Month, I have gathered a few things you just shouldn’t say to a mom of twins. Keep these in mind next time you run into one!
Related: Life as We Know It With Twins
Things You Just Shouldn’t Say to Moms of Twins
‘How do you tell them apart?’
I really don’t even like to acknowledge this question. I mean, I get it, people are curious. I can understand this question when it comes to identical twins, but when they are fraternal? For real, though, they are my children, I can tell them apart because I spend every waking moment with them, and, well, I gave birth to them. Simple as that.
‘My babies are a year apart; it’s kind of like having twins.’
No. It is not. Nothing is ‘like’ having twins, except actually having twins. One of your children was just about walking when your younger one was born. You did not have to carry 2 car seats into a store, or try to wrap and carry 2 babies on your body while you did some shopping. You did not have to wrestle 2 tiny humans into a car seat while they both have the ability to toss their sippy cups at your head. Nothing is ‘like’ having twins.
‘Did you want twins?’
Well, I asked the doc if we could return one, and he said no. What kind of question is this? Did you want your child who was not planned? We may not have planned for twins, but it wasn’t as if we didn’t want one.
‘Twins must be easy; they always have someone to play with.’
One would think, right? Well, why do you think that? If you have 2 children, do they always have a playmate? Do they always want to play with each other? I am going to guess no. Siblings are siblings, and well, people and not everyone want to be around someone all of the time, even if they shared a womb.
‘Are they natural?’
I know what you are asking, but really? Are my children natural? Are yours? You want to know if we used IVF or the good ole fashion way? No one seems to pose this question to moms of singletons. I am not sure what happens to people’s manners when they meet a mom of twins, but it seems like nothing is sacred.
‘Are they identical?’
Do you have eyes? First of all, if this question is posed to a mom who clearly has a boy and a girl, then the answer is more than obvious and probably doesn’t even warrant an answer. Boy and girl twins can not be identical (there I said it). Also, take a peek, do they look identical?
‘You’ve got your hands full.’
This is my favorite. Someone usually says this as they see you struggling and not help you by holding the door for you so you can get your double stroller through. Also, it is a pretty obvious statement, no?
If you are a mom of twins, you have heard these and so many more pretty ridiculous questions. Having friends who are moms of twins, I have learned a thing or two about what not to ask. It is kind of like being pregnant, the things people ask or say to you, you have to remember to not say them to other pregnant women.
Have you heard some ridiculous things that were either said to you or your friend who might be a mom of twins? Share them with us below in the comment section about things you just shouldn’t say to a mom of twins!!
15 thoughts on “7 Things That Moms of Twins are Tired of Hearing”
When people say “I’ve always wanted twins” or “omg my ovaries hurt! I seriously would love to have twins”. Yeaaaaaaaah ok.
I think I’ve been pretty good with avoiding most of these. The one I’m guilty of is “you’ve got your hands full.”
I don’t have twins but I do have two boys! I’ve heard a few of these though!
This made me laugh because I was watching a show yesterday that contains a father with twins. He was trying to get them into a prestigious preschool that cost a lot of money. His friend told him he should just enroll one and then send the other one every other day in her place lol
Very true! I have a couple of friends who have twin babies and they have similar thoughts too. Very on point.
I am guilty of asking these questions please don’t be offend just sometime its to start an conversation with the parent. I guess as a mother these question wear thin. Its a habit no harm.
I worked with an identical twin. People always asked if she and her twin had a secret language. After they left she would roll her eyes and makes the gag ginger sound, lol
Tell me about it. And the famous question is, when you’re pushing that double stroller with two babies wearing the same thing… “Are they twins?” Am I crazy enough to borrow another baby and buy a double stroller? It’s so funny. These are really accurate, I know you’re curious but please ask the right questions. The sensible ones, like, “What is like to take care of twins?” I’d gladly share that with you. Ugh.
A few of my friends have twins and I may or may not have said a few of these things to them!! OOPS!!
I’ve never thought about it. I grew up with a pair of twins. They were fraternal so you could tell them apart but I’m sure their mom heard some of these similar things.
Take it as a complement. As the parent of only one child, it always thrilled me when people struck up a conversation about the most beautiful baby that was ever born. Of course you may disagree. But people do ask unusual questions which you wouldn’t thing they might ask, such as, oh…. you are breast feeding? How do you do that since you work full time. They really are interested in the mechanics, so let it roll off your back and educate… Anyway, babies are babies and they’re all adorable, no matter how many arrive at one time. I think every little girl has had some romantic dream about having twins. You’re lucky to have two little miracles and I’m sure you wouldn’t trade a second with them to get out of all the double effort you put forth every moment of every day. By the way, are your twins identical? (Just kidding…)
I can definitely imagine parents of twins hearing these a lot. It must get a little bit tiresome!
I have a friend with twins and she is always posting funny things like this. People are curious, but I guess they don’t always think about the fact you have probably heard those questions asked over and over.
It is unreal how comfortable or dim-witted people can be?! The whole idea of saying it in your head before you say it out loud is really good advice in almost all situations! lol
Hahahaha I love this!! I have friends that are twins and I always loved hearing their stories of conversations with others. It is awesome that your kids have that special bond with each other.