I’m not an expert on parenting, but I have done the new mom thing twice now, and there are a few things I want to say to the new mom! I know what it’s like to be in your shoes. Even with my second child, who is only five years younger than my first, I felt like I was a new mom twice over! You are at home with your new little person, stuck in what seems like a never-ending cycle of burp clothes, diaper changes, and feedings. It can be hard to remember that this part won’t last forever and that you are not alone. Hopefully, my words of advice will help get you through it!
Things I want to say to the new mom
It gets easier
It might not seem it right now, while you try to soothe your new little human and nothing seems to work. You two are still getting to know each other. You are getting to know her wants and needs, and what her cries mean and she is getting to know you as well. It will get easier. And then you will look back on days like this and think about how you thought they would never end (as you run to save the goldfish from an untimely death as your lovely toddler grabs the edge of his bowl with his tiny little fingers).
As brand new moms, we often feel alone in what we are thinking and feeling. Our spouses can try their best to relate, but they are not us, they are not moms. I am here to tell you that I understand what you are feeling. You are not alone in feeling like a zombie; you are not alone in feeling like your housework is not up to par. How could it be? You went from having no one to care for but yourself (and maybe your partner), to now having a whole extra person in your life who needs you, a lot. I understand the feeling of failure when you can’t calm your baby because, despite all your best efforts, you just don’t know what she wants. I understand.
You are doing great
Your baby did not come with a handbook (at least mine didn’t, but if yours did, please pass that along). Parenting is the one job you don’t get a job description for. You are given this tiny little person and just ‘expected’ to know what to do. Whatever you are doing, you are doing great. Is your baby clothed, warm, clean and fed? Then you are doing great. Second guessing yourself is only natural, we all want to be the best parents.
You could (and should) sit for hours with your sleeping baby on your chest
Something about your sleeping baby lying so comfortably on your chest makes the thought of your to-do list fade away. None of that stuff is going anywhere, but your baby won’t be a baby for long. Plus, I know from experience, that moving a sleeping baby from your chest is not only a magic act that sometimes can not be duplicated, but also could very well result in her waking up. In which case, none of those chores are getting done anyway, so you might as well just enjoy this while you can. You could use a nap too, I know, so close your eyes.
My car is a mess, too!
I used to keep my car clean and free of crumbs (this was when it was also free of kids). These days I am pretty confident that I do not know what is growing in the cracks of the seats. I do my best to keep it clean, but toddlers don’t tend to eat on a schedule, and with all of the traveling and running around I do, it is easier to stick a handful of goldfish in his cupholder and hope he eats them rather than smoosh them between his fingers.
Being a mom is tough. Being a new mom is even tougher. If you have more than one little human running around your house, think back to when there was only one, and the feelings and thoughts you had. Let’s go easy on our new fellow moms. There are things they need to hear that unless you say them, they probably will miss out on. None of us really know what we are doing right?
What are some positive and uplifting things you would like to say to a new mom? Or what are some things you wish you heard as a new mom? Share with us in the comment section below!