Even if your child isn’t the victim of bullying, they may be suffering consequences of being A bullying bystander. As a parent, you may want to make sure that your child is prepared for what may come if the happen to be witness to a friend or classmate being bullied. While you can’t protect them from everything, you can work with them to help them learn how to deal with these consequences in a healthy manner.
CONSEQUENCES OF BEING A BULLYING BYSTANDER
Bullying victims aren’t the only individuals who suffer from this crime. From the teachers and parents of the children who are bullies or victims, to the peer who must deal with the after effects, nobody is safe from the consequences of bullying. In fact, there are even consequences to being a bullying bystander. As a parent, you should be aware of some things to watch for and help your child overcome should they find themselves on the other side of the bullying issue.
Watch For:
- Difficulty communicating feelings
- Apprehension or fear about going back to school
- Anxiety that causes poor performance in school
- Inability to sleep at night
- Poor performance in school activities
What can you do to help them?
- Keep lines of communication open. Always make sure that your children know they can speak to you about any situation in their life, even if it is embarrassing or troubling.
- Remind them that it is not their fault someone else is being bullied. Often children will feel guilty that their friends are being bullied while they are being overlooked. Remind them that the bully is the one at fault in these situations.
- Encourage them to speak out about bullying. Give them great outlets to share experiences, or to simply feel safe in reporting bullying to authorities. By giving them a safe place to go and talk, they are more likely to help victims overcome.
- Tips For Dealing With Bullying In Middle School
As a parent you often may believe your worries end only in preventing your child from being a bully or being bullied. Unfortunately, we also have to consider how being a bullying bystander can effect our kids in both the short and long term. From emotional issues to education issues, it is important to make sure your child knows that they can hare these things with you. Always encourage them to share things with you no matter what they are. While discipline may be important at times, make sure they know that you are always willing to listen and hear their side of any story, especially involving bullying.
Do you think there are other consequences to being a bullying bystander? Share them in the comments.
the bullying is crazy right now in middle school! great advice to pass along.
My mother always said that if you aren’t part of the solution, you are part of the problem and it’s something that I’ve always remembered. I think that applies here – a lot!
I remember sticking up for kids in school that got picked on. It always seemed to make me a target as well. I wouldn’t change my choices though. I agree that the best way is to continue to talk to your kids and tell them you stories. Let them know you understand and your on their side.
This makes me really want to take a proactive approach when it comes to bullying. It scares me to think about what my son is going to have to face when he goes to school!
My daughter was a victim of bullying in middle school. It’s sad that we still have to deal with things such as this.
The bystander effect… I always fight it! We must be the ones with voices in cases where others have lost their own!
I always speak up. If I don’t, who will?
We need to continue to discuss this topic and advocate for it! It isn’t just the victim, and the bully, it involves everyone!
This is a wonderful topic. Bullying is so terrible! I’d hate for my kids to have to go through something like this. Nobody should have be bullied. It’s a shame how cruel some people can be to others. I wish everyone could get along.
This is something every parent should know. Sometimes the child won’t even let anyone know about the bullying so it’s important to watch for the signs.
Both of my kids have been victims of bullying and it was hard on them, on us, their peers and the teachers. Thank you for posting such an important subject.
This is a great post, and one that is very needed. There was a girl in my school who was bullied so badly, she actually transferred. It was really sad.
NEVER look the other way when you see someone being bullied. Kids are killing themselves these days!
This is a great post topic. I’ll have to have this talk with my daughter soon.
I’m so glad that you posted this because people are often uncomfortable and not sure what to do in situations like this. They may not know what to do, especially if they are younger or in a situation where they also feel threatened as a bystander.
I lived in an apt complex where I got sick from upstairs neighbor smoking drugs. The sheriff dept helped me medically but did not have a warrant to search their apt nor did the people open the door. The apt complex told the folks of my complaints & asked them to “stop it.” Both of my patios, my car & door decorations were vandalized. Gas was poured on my patio & they flicked lit cigarettes on it. The apt told me I complained too much and needed to stop. Long story short, my child got jumped on my 5 boys & girls just b/c she knew of what was going on. A mild stroke later, and we are in another place. The authorities said the apartment had more control over the situation than they did. Our lives did not matter. Oh, did I mention this was within my own race? I did wish that those who witness things, but did not speak up, acknowledge the difference that standing up for victims makes. Standing up for someone does not make you a “snitch.” It’s just the right & humane thing to do.