Have we become Parents Who Enable Their Children? We have all seen it. The teenager or young adult who looks at you like you are crazy when you ask them to help out. Whether it is at home, school or a place of business it is becoming more and more apparent that we are raising children who have adapted the attitude that everyone should cater to their desires. Have we gone so far to give our children their desires that we have forgotten about teaching them basic character? A recent article spoke to the parents who have been enabling their children and addressed issues it could cause in the present and future. We would like to take that a step further to look at what parents who enable their children are doing to influence this problem.
PARENTS WHO ENABLE THEIR CHILDREN
Below we have compiled a list of common behaviors of parents who enable their children. While not all of these things are bad in themselves, they can become a problem when care is not taken to develop other counteracting qualities in that child. As a parent, you must learn what balance works best for your child. For some families the things mentioned here will be good influences that would not be considered enabling. For other families the very same things could cause a sense of entitlement in a child that is hard to reverse. Think about your individual family dynamic, your children and their needs to determine if these are things you should change in your home.
- Permissive Parenting styles that do not include discipline actions for bad behavior
- The abundance of toys, electronics and possessions for birthdays and holiday gifts as well as in between times. The lack of these items being special because they are so commonly purchased/given.
- No consequences for lack of responsibility with possessions. (Broken games, toys, electronics, etc.)
- Quickly replacing broken items without the child working toward payment.
- Lack of household responsibility. Not teaching them about basic housekeeping like cleaning their room, bathrooms, doing laundry or helping with dishes and trash.
- Lack of academic responsibility. No follow through with assignments, homework or poor grades.
These are simply a handful of common behaviors that can lead to your child becoming someone who lacks a work ethic and respect for those around them. As parents continue to give their kids more and more without asking for anything in return we will see this annoying attitude continue. Parents who enable their children often feel they are doing and giving the best to their children. In fact, they are often creating a bigger problem in the long run.
What do you think about parents who enable their children? Will it lead to a problem in the future?
I have realized over the past year that I have been enabling my son too much and have been giving him more and more opportunities to be independent.
Yes, parents who enable their kids will have kids who won’t know how to handle life situations on their own. Kids need tough love and its better to make your kids work for things they want rather than giving them everything in life. I don’t buy my kids every single thing they want unless it is a need. I want to raise responsible kids who can handle things on their own once they move out.